Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
In the modern area, the job vacancy having a high require qualification for the job seeker. The quality of education is the crucial part to get the perfect job while a several people argue that it is inverse and history job is the best good point .
The students continue their study after school in secondary high school to University. It shows that they learning the whole knowledge. A 2013, time.com told that the company considerable needs the worker by a fresh graduate from university with the ability the international language and computer skill. They have the high position in the occupation as the expectation with the high wage. They more likely learning in college to reach the dream of perfect job
The pivotal job needs the quality of experience as the professional worker. It is since the hard job as the top position has the detail to finish all of the duty. A 2013, economist.com witnessed that mechanic IT have myriad experience about technology and have lowest education. The young people tend to that work is the choice to get many experiences, they early to start their job . The high position also come by worker with myriad history job
In conclusion, the perfect job can be real if the children finish the study in college however, the background of job story still important. I believe that they get the best job when the people try and do not give up
Hi Dyna.
You make a fundamental mistake. Your writing is not enough, and you should write this more than 250 words. After that, I find many grammatical errors.
In the introduction sentence, you should explain thesis statement clearly. Actually, you should include your opinion in the thesis statement so that the reader know about your mind. For example, ALTHOUGH WORKING AFTER FINISHING THE STUDY BRINGS POSITIVE BENEFITS TO SHARPEN THE
EXPERIENCE, I TOTALLY BELIEVE THAT THE HIGH EDUCATION WOULD GIVES GREAT PROSPERITY.
Turning to the body paragraph 1, your statement is not strong to support your thoughts. You gave a weak reason and the irrelevant example. I know that body paragraph 1 contains the advantage of studying the university, but your flow did not show that. Meanwhile, in the body paragraph 2, you still create paragraph which did not answer task response. I believe that you would gain a lower score because you did not cover your opinion about the importance of the experience.
In the part of the conclusion paragraph, you should still write your opinion about the question. You should show clearly that you tend to agree with the view.
You should pay attention to your grammar. I advise you to practice more ann more.
In the modern area, the job vacancy having a high requires a high qualification for the job seeker. The quality of education is the crucial part to get a perfect job while a several people argue that it is inverse and history job is the best good point .job experience is more important.
The students continue their study after school in secondary high school toin University. It shows that they learning the whole knowledge.in order to get some basic skills required by companies. For example,Times showed that fresh graduates who have great ability in international languages and computers are in considerable demand by numerous companies . So college students are more likely to obtain jobs since they have already had an excellent command of these skills.
I think the second paragraph could be changed so,and hope this could be helpful.
Hello bro, actually you wrote this writing task 2 quite well. Besides, the readers can understand your idea easily. You utilize single idea brainstorming in your first and second body paragraphs and use scientific fact both bodies. However, I am to suggest you that one paragraph should consist of minimum three sentences. Yet, in your introduction is only two sentences, also in conclusion. You should add your recommendation or fear or suggestion in your conclusion. Let me give you alternative.
In conclusion, the perfect job can be real if the children finish the study in college however, the background of job story still important. I believe that they get the best job when the people try and do not give up
I suggest that youngsters should continue their education to higher level.
Hi Dina! Nice to read your writing. Here suggestion from me:
In the modern area, the job vacancy having a high [...] The quality of education is the crucial part to get the perfect job ... (I cannot find the smooth correlation between the first and the second sentences, better you use cohesive device)
Let me try to give an alternative:
"In the modern area, the job vacancy requires a high qualification for the job seeker. On account of this, education's quality is the crucial part to get the perfect job. A number of inhabitants argue the reverse, as history job is the best considerable point."
