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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Today more people are overweight than ever before...

caohuyen93 4 / 8 1  
Feb 1, 2024   #1
Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

It is true that more and more people are facing obesity. In my opinion, the fundamental reasons are changing in diet and lifestyle, and this issue can negatively affect the country's healthcare system and economy.

One of the primary causes is changing in the way people consume food. In order to allocate more time to fulfill work and study related responsibilities, youngsters often opt for processed food such as burgers, and french fries. As a result, they intake more calories, yet less nutritious sources of energy. Technology is another contributing factor to this. Many individuals choose to spend their leisure time on computer games, or social media instead of engaging in physical activities. My niece, for instance, prefers watching cartoons to playing sports. Consequently, her body gets heavier and inflexible over time. Therefore, imbalanced diet and sedentary lifestyle are the main culprits of this tendency.

Increasing numbers of overweight population can have detrimental impacts on the country as a whole. Firstly, it puts a strain on the national healthcare system. Obese people are generally more susceptible to various health issues like cardiovascular diseases, diabetes. Thus, giving treatments and services for these huge numbers of patients might even lead to the collapse of the system, and ill residents might not get adequate access to proper hospitals and medical practitioners. Furthermore, companies might suffer from the shortage of staff if employees take sick leaves too often. It can affect badly not only the organisation's productivity, but also the country's economic well-being.

In conclusion, alterations in people's ways of living and eating are to be blamed for this negative development, and its consequences are devastating. Therefore, the authorities should implement a range of initiatives to encourage healthier lifestyles and mitigate the bad impacts of this trend. (293)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Feb 7, 2024   #2
It is true that more

Do not ever give an attestation to the truthfulness or falsity of the given opinion. That is never going to be a task requirement. Doing so will result in a prompt deviation that could lead to an automatic failing score. Why? You changed the writing rules for the essay. You added an insignificant element. That is a no-no in the task 2 presentation.

lifestyle, and this issue c

You should not be using a connecting word in the sentence since the discussion elements are different in focus. The last part should have been written as a stand alone statement also. This run-on, compressed sentence will result in GRA deductions.

youngsters often

You cannot focus your reasoning on youngsters because the essay is addressing a general pandemic. You should be referencing the general population to avoid further C+C deductions.

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