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More and more people now own cars. What are the problem and solution ?

hoa12 1 / -  
Apr 21, 2020   #1

The number of vehicles has risen significantly

It is true that in morden life, almost people have a private car. Athough there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this trend, solutions can be taken to mitigate these potential problems.

There are a number of related to this trend. The main issue is pollution. A lot of cars in the street means a large amount of cacbon dioxide release. Not only atmosphere but also noise. This is lound hooter that repeating sound just pisses other people off. Another problem is a negative effect on drivers. A high accident rate because the rear cars is often hidden from front cars, moreover car users can control when they have one over the eight. Besides, car owners are so dependent on the car that they sit too much which leads to obesity.

However, there are several actions that could be taken to solve the problem mentioned above. Firstly, it is important for the government to increase vehicle registered fee and collect tolls on almost ways. Sum of money above will be used in granting free bus tickets for students, personnels. Secondly, government should propagandize pollution, health care for citizens in order to they cut down go out by private car. Finally, gasoline price are increased. This would mean that public transports will be priority.

In conclusion, various measures can be implemented to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the number of cars are growing.
Victoria40156 - / 3 1  
Apr 21, 2020   #2
In the first sentece, i think you mean "most." Also, what do you mean by the first sentence of the second paragraph? that sentence sounds fragmented. Also, when you say "This is lound hooter that ..." it sounds informal. I think you should change that, particularly the "pissing people off" part. Overall, I think you should run this through a grammar or spell check to catch the more "wonky" sentences.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,308 3991  
Apr 22, 2020   #3
You have written less than 250 words, which is the bare minimum requirement for the task 2 essay that you are writing. The essay that you wrote is short on the word count because you failed to properly approach the discussion. The prompt paraphrase could have been better drafted and you should have provided only one problem and one solution as a part of the discussion outline within the last part of the paraphrase. Being unable to properly provide the discussion outline is what made your essay suffer in terms of clarity, presentation, and word count.

Your second paragraph does not make much sense to the examiner. You only offered discussion topics or reasons, but failed to properly explain why you considered these reasons problems. That is why each discussion paragraph should have only one topic sentence and one discussion focus at all times. One for one problem and another for a singular solution. Failing to properly develop your discussion, as you did here will not help your score.

There are several reasons that this essay will not pass:

- It does not meet the word count requirement
- It does not contain properly developed paragraphs
- Numerous grammar errors prevail
- There is a lack of overall writing skill in the presentation.

I am sure you can write very well in your native tongue, but you need to work on your sentence development and structure in the English language. Your meaning is getting lost in the translation from your native language to UK English.

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