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IELTS: people pay to enter museums can help conserve artworks and facilitate sustainable development



Waterloop 6 / 17  
Jul 7, 2020   #1

Many museums charge for admission while others are free


Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?


It is true that nowadays more museums start charging people for admission. I completely agree the idea that the pros of the measure outweigh the cons.

In my opinion, people pay to enter museums can help conserve artworks and facilitate sustainable development. By receiving the entrance fee from visitors, museums can make use of fund in maintenance, rehabilitation and security etc, these are the vital elements that keep museums running. While part of income is spent in labor force so that they could earn a living. For countries like Italy, it mainly relies on museums tourism to support their economic development through applying heavy entrance fee to worldwide visitors. Besides, much revenue is put in education, this can effectively raise public awareness of cultural conservation which proves museums enforcing admission fee can be utilized in several meaningful ways.

However, when museums are no longer free of charge for entrance, their accessibility decreases gradually. Under-privileged group become more difficult to access to masterpieces due to costly entrance ticket, nevertheless, local communities like Hong Kong Children Club offers free guided tour and discounted ticket to allow the needy to appreciate without financial hurdles. Meanwhile, some may say popularity of museums declines if they mandate charging scheme, I doubt that whether travelers will be restricted by the entrance fee when they discover some artifacts which are worth-seeing. A typical example is the Versailles Palace in France, though so pricey as it may seem, it still attracts millions of tourists every year.

In conclusion, museums charging people for admission bring disadvantages, they are indeed insignificant and hence the advantages outweigh.

jhhh11 14 / 30  
Jul 7, 2020   #2
Hi! Here are some suggestions for you:

- In other to show examiners that you have lexical resources, you should paraphrase "museums start charging people for admission" (you just copied from the question)

- "agree with the idea"

- "While part of income is spent in labor ..." --> "At the same time, part of the revenue is spent to pay museum employees, so that potentially they receive higher earnings."

- "For countries like Italy, where it mainly ... to support their the economic development, through applying apply heavy entrance fees ..." (countries ... apply)

- "However, ... entrance, their accessibility decreases gradually." --> Whom are you referring to?
OP Waterloop 6 / 17  
Jul 8, 2020   #3
@lexical

Thank you for your advice!! will be more careful and paraphase next time! :)
Tinathanh 5 / 13  
Jul 8, 2020   #4
As a learner, I have some feedback for your essay.

1. You use a variety of vocabulary, very good.

2. I have made mistakes with this type of essay too. This is not just advantages and disavantages essay because the word "outweigh". That means you need to write one more paragraph to express your ideas about one side that you agree with.


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