Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?


maika0211 1 / 1  
Dec 11, 2019   #1

local filmmakers lack of support



The film industry has made significant contributions to each country's economy. However, there is a fact that many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. This essay will show my opinion explain the reasons for the case, and governments should PROMOTE LOCAL FILM-MAKING BY SUBSIDISING THE INDUSTRY.

In order to explain why people are more enjoyable foreign films than local films, there are various reasons. Foreign films haves outstanding qualities. There is no denying because they're invested with big budgets and excellent producers. For example, Avengers: Endgame was made with an estimated budget of $356 million. The special effects are very imaginative, especially with the space scenes. The acting is powerful, so it can draw viewers in to the story. Whereas, local films was made with low budget. The storyline can be silly as people never behave like this in real life. The poor quality and low budget causes viewer prefer to watch foreign films than local films.

I believes that governments give more financial support to local film industries. Firstly, it raise the quality of local film which are current lack of budget. Secondly, it helps film-makers can approach the advanced technology in making special effects. Financial support encourage the producers and actors to prove their talent more and in the future, domestic film industry can keep up with foreign films.

In conclusion, I hope more people excited in watching local film with financial support by government.
TriceLiu 11 / 25 18  
Dec 12, 2019   #2
Hi! Here are some of my suggestions:

Task Response:

The question in the prompt is "Why could this be?" and doesn't ask for the solution to the preference for foreign films. The essay would improve in task response if you could dedicate two main paragraphs to reasons for this preference.

Lexical Resource:
Try and diversify the vocabulary that are used. For example, replace some of the "films" with "movies" and pronouns:
In order to explain why people are more enjoyable foreign films than local films, there are various reasons. Foreign films haves outstanding qualities.
Various reasons can explain why people find foreign films more enjoyable than local ones. The first is that imported movies tend to be of better quality.

Grammatical Accuracy:
Be careful when to use the third-person singular form on verbs and when not to.
eg1. Foreign films have ...
eg2. ... and low budget cause viewer...
eg3. Whereas, local films are made ...

Hope this helps!
OP maika0211 1 / 1  
Dec 14, 2019   #3
@Triceliu thank you so much
irsaqisthi 3 / 6 5  
Dec 15, 2019   #4
Dear Maika,

I would like to give you some feedbacks, hoping that they could help improve your writing. Unfortunately, there are some grammatical errors in your writing. To reduce such mistakes, it will be better for you to check the grammar and proofread your work.

For example:
- "many ..." can be changed to "many people prefer watching foreign films to local ones".

- "Financial support encourages ..."

You might want to change the way you write the introduction so it becomes more well elaborated. Let me give you an example:

- "This essay will ..." can be altered to "This essay will provide readers with the reason behind low preference for local films and suggestions to solve the problem."

- "In order to explain why ..." can be edited to "There are several reasons why people consider foreign films more enjoyable than local ones".

Also, you need to be careful in deciding when to use singular or plural.
- "... low budget causes viewers prefer ..."


Home / Writing Feedback / Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?