People tend to buy some goods which are not essential for them, even being short of money. IELTS2

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour?
What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

The majority of people tend to buy some goods which are not essential while they do not have a capability to purchase it, as a result, they have to face a debt. From my point of view, this bad behaviour has a correlation with people's childhood period. Besides, they can attempt to restrict using a credit card in order to cure the bad shopping habit and minimize the impact.

To begin, the first reason behind the issue is adult's behaviour is the impact of treats which were given in their young ages. This is because children circumstances is the most potential period, they have a good memory and able to absorb any kind of informations. Secondly, when there were some necessity that can not be fulfil when they are child, it is possible to affect their behaviour in the future. Similar with human bad habit (shopaholic), for example, there was a possibility that happened with their childhood memories when parents did not allowed them to choose and buy what they want as a child. As a consequence, the unsatified willingness will be a trigger that should be obtain when they are adult.

Despite that, technology has a part to support this unorganize shopping habit, one of them is credit card. It is irrefutable that most people get assisted by credit card existance. However, some of them can not control the way to use it wisely. Restrict the opportunity to using credit card is the easiest way to reduce the high intensity of shopping and replaced with cash money to control the amount of purchasing. Taking my friend experience as an example, she decided to bring some cash money rather than used modern technological payment. As a result, she was made a deeper consideration before decided to buy a good.

To sum up, shopping behaviour disorder can be caused by a bad experience that people gain when they were young and it gives an impact for their attitude in the future. The most possible solution to solve this problem is avoiding to use more than one credit card in order to decreasing the quantity of consumerism.

Hello

Your text is nicely written. However, a few sentences in it are unnecessarily complex - this affects readability. I applied some stylistic adjustments to the text so that it sounds better. They are as follows:

The majority [...] Most people tend to buy non-essential things without being able to afford it.
this bad [...] such behaviour has to do with the affiliated individuals childhood period.
Besides [...] this sentence is somewhat unintelligible and it doesn't quite connect to the previous ones... you may want to remove it.
To begin [...] First, it appears that the history of being given gifts when a child, does have a strong effect on the person's purchasing behaviour.

This is [...] The reason for this is that one's childhood memories do have much influence on how he or she acts.
Secondly [...] We can speculate that by purchasing non-essential things people strive to address their childhood anxiety of wanting to acquire something while not having money to be able to afford it.

Similar with [...] this sentence is redundant... you should remove it.
the unsatisfied willingness [...] desire will trigger the shopaholic type of behavior in adults.
Despite that [...] Technology (credit cards) contributes towards the situation, as well.
It is irrefutable [...] After all, having a credit card will naturally tempt a person to buy things that he or she would normally not be able to afford.

Restrict [...] In this respect, it will make much sense imposing additional criteria for people to qualify to be issued a credit card.
As a result [...] she thought twice before deciding to buy a particular product.
it gives an impact [...] it will impact their attitude in the future.
The most possible [...] plausible solution, in this respect, would be avoiding...

I hope this helped. Regards.

Hi Radita WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website to be, not only helpful but even more useful to your writing projects. We strive to provide you with our most comprehensive and credible feedback.

Having said that, I would like to let you know that the presentation of your essay is very good, it is uniformly written, the paragraphs shows a very familiar pattern and as you know, presentation also affects the overall outcome of the essay and this will help build credibility to your articles.

Furthermore , I would like to share a few suggestions below;
- essential whileeven if they do
- not have athe capability to purchase it,
- as a result, they have to face a debt.
- this bad behaviourbehavior has a
- thethis bad shopping habit

- To begin with ,
- the first reason behind the issue is that,
- adult's behaviou r is the impact of treats
- which were given in theirdone when they were young ages .
- This is because children circumstancesbeing young is - that cannot be fulfilfulfilled when they
- are childyoung ( child is like 3-6 years old and this is not appropriate to the idea you are trying to build in this part of the essay ) ,

-with any human bad habit (shopaholic), for example,
- there wasis a possibility that something happened with
- when they arebecome adult.

There you have it Radita, I hope the above corrections help in your revision, as you can see, there's quiet a load of work to be done in your essay, however, with the above suggestions, you should be able to compose an even stronger essay.