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Some people think that the government have the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet...



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Aug 13, 2017   #1
Some people think that the government have the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

the task of improving people's health



It is true that, in recent years, a healthy diet has been receiving a great deal of media attention around the world, especially in less developed countries, because of its substantial impacts on promoting physical and mental development. While some medical practitioners suggest that government intervention to help its citizens have a balanced diet is essential, l believe that people's responsibility of eating healthily should be a top priority.

There are a variety of grounds why the government holds accountable for maintaining healthy eating habits of its citizens. Firstly, since some imported food such as fruits or meat contain plenty of chemical preservative popularly sold in the market, consumers easily suffer from eating disorders such as food poisoning , even leading to life-threatening conditions. Therefore, national authorities should impose strict regulations on monitoring a wide range of imported food before entering border customs offices. Secondly, in order to provide consumers with a healthier diet, government officials should take steps to develop advances in agricultural technology to produce chemical-free food including meat, fruits, and green vegetables. This not only encourages consumers to purchase domestic food but also improves their citizens' health.

Nevertheless, it is clear that each citizen should be responsible to look after his or her health. Firstly, thanks to social networking sites, especially Facebook, individuals might raise awareness themselves about avoiding food additives. In fact, since a variety of unhealthy foods containing artificial colors and flavors on Facebook such as candies and cakes contribute to causing some health problems such as diabetes and obesity, people might be more reliance on diets rich in vitamins and nutrients instead of continuing consuming these foods. In addition, consumers should spend more time on home -made food rather than processed one. In fact, plenty of evidence suggests that self-cooked food would provide adequate nutrients for cognitive development and raw spinach is a great source of vitamins, contributing to having a balanced diet on the daily basis.

In conclusion, while the government plays an integral part in improving people's health, it seems to me that every citizen should plan on having healthy eating habits to protect his or her health from chronic diseases.

cuthilananh2000 2 / 2  
Aug 13, 2017   #2
you should upgrade your vocabulary. and you make long sentences well
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Aug 13, 2017   #3
Bao, this essay will automatically receive a low score of 4 for a number of reasons. The first reason is that the TA section of the essay was not appropriately addressed in the overall presentation. While the original prompt asked you to discuss both points of view prior to the presentation of your personal opinion, you decided to discuss only your point of view in the essay. This is clearly seen in the opening statement that you presented where, rather than paraphrasing the original prompt to indicate that two points of view plus a personal opinion will be discussed, you immediately launched into a personal opinion discussion instead. Therefore, you failed to properly address the task requirements. You minimally accomplished the instructions you were given.

Additionally, your supporting discussions were not really connected in presentation and seemed to be jumping around without any clear objective in each paragraph. Each paragraph must have a clear topic sentence and a properly developed and presented discussion. Your paragraphs try to present too much information without any actual supporting discussion. That lowered the C&C score for your essay as well. It is because of these reasons that I was forced to give you this low final score.
chocuatt 3 / 5  
Aug 14, 2017   #4
Hello, Sing

I really hope you will find my comments are useful but truly I am quite new.

I really impressed with the way you use your vocabulary to make a long sentence. It shows you are very good at grammar.
I might think it's really difficult topic and at some point, your arguments are not fit with it. It kind of showing too many ideas does not relate.


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