[IELTS] Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries

The best way to get deep understanding about foreign cultures

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but other people think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen at TV and the internet. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

Considering the ongoing diversification in our society, people are now more interested to broaden their prospects about cultures of different nations. While many beleive that with the digital age, one can learn a lot about other countries without visit them, I would argue learning is possible but to a certain extend, it is required to visit the nations to fully learn about them.

On the one side, with the rise in vlogging culture and the international Television Channels, it is possible to have first-hand experience about the life in any foreign country. The reason for this is, many vloggers record their whole day and post on the social platforms for others to experience their life. Especially within students, they can experience their whole day in foreign universities in advance without even visiting them. Furthermore, it has become a prevalent idea to install a 360 Degree on a tourist location and broadcast the feed on internet, which, as a result, allows people around the globe enjoy a virtual experience.

Nevertheless, I would argue that although watching video's and reading blog is convenient but one cannot learn enough until they experience it in the real life. For illustration, it is not possible to learn a language by just reading books and listening tutorial, a pragmatic approach, such as interaction with native speaker's is required. Besides, internet lacks emotions. Argument goes that, eventhough their is plenty of information and clips available about nine-eleven, world trade center attacks, but you will only experience the real-pain and destruction after standing around ground zero.

In conclusion, Despite the avalaibility of number of resource on internet to learn about any foreign destination, I beleive, physically presence is required to have the deep understanding about cultures and incidents.

You have the ptoential to become a good essay writer. You have the writing talent to achieve more than just a passing score. The problem, is that you disregard the discussion instructions fort he essay as indicated in the prompt requirements. This has caused you to discuss the essay based on your own topics rather than the indicated paragraph topics. The indicated discussion topics are:

1. ...it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries
2. ... it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen at TV and the internet.

Your topics do not discuss these aforementioned information. You are instead discussing:
1. Technology in relation to learning
2. Language learning

The focal point of the discussion is travel in relation to learning about countries. It is not focusing on travel in relation to student lives or learning requirements. These are not the required discussion topics as you can see from the above outline. Additionally, the essay instruction indicates: Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion. Meaning, this is a 5 paragraph essay. It should be represented by 2 individual discussions for each public point of view, and one paragraph explaining which of the two points of view you support.

What you have presented does not indicate 2 public points of view. You have one general reference and one personal opinion. You are short by 1 comparison paragraph for the public point of view. That is not the expected discussion format.

By the way, an opinion represents a discussion, not an argument. Never indicate an argument in these essays because nobody is arguing with you. There is no fight going on. There is only a comparison of opinions, which does not ever qualify as an argument. Try to change your concluding summary opening phrase. Avoid the use of the overused, memorized phrase "In conclusion". Try to change it up by using a different reference to a concluding summary. You could say "Looking back on the earlier discussion..." or "These 3 opinions represent..." or something like that. Just avoid using memorized phrases to help increase your GRA score.