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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 Some people think people working in creative arts should be financially support


HuongNguyen2111 1 / -  
Oct 27, 2021   #1

the Art field on the government's budget



Opinion is divided on whether creators in the art field should rely on the government's budget or seek private support to develop. I will look at the reasoning of both camps before presenting why I believe that financial support from all these sources are of vital importance.

On the one hand, people who side with the government financial aid have their own arguments. More specifically, not only contributing to the development of the economy through hosting international art galleries, transmitting traditions to other countries, or becoming an integral part of the advertising industry, arts also play an important role in educating history and culture for many people. Hence, it is apparent that the government should shoulder responsibility for creative art work, which can bring many positive effects in flourishing the economy, health and status worldwide in the long run. Versa, support from the government is more affirmed, which can lay a solid foundation for artist's work, leading to compromised and sustainable artistic missions.

On the other hand, it is understandable why many think art work should be funded by multiple funding streams. Firstly, by diversifying sources of support and income, creative artists can be more independent and flexible in what they do. In other words, relying heavily on a certain source can limit the projects and momentum. Secondly, in fact, an official state has more problems which are

In conclusion, I want to reiterate that creative artists should seek for and receive financial support from both the government and other sources, which are beneficial in different ways.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,000 3875  
Oct 28, 2021   #2
I will look at the reasoning of both camps

There is no need to repeat the discussion instructions. This was already established in the prompt restatement. Only your personal opinion presentation is needed at this point. This should be a 2 sentence direct representation of the original. However, this presentation is still acceptable and will be awarded points. It is good enough, but could have been better. # Median score

Versa

This word does not exist in the English language. Perhaps you meant to say "Vice-versa" meaning in reverse order from the way something has been stated; the other way around ? Regardless, the first word does not exist and the word suggestion would have been an improperly used word. Score markdown #1.

Secondly, in fact, an official state has more problems which are

What? The presentation is incomplete. There is no logic or coherence present. Score markdown #2.

Where is the personal opinion paragraph? The 3rd reasoning presentation. That cannot be used as a concluding statement. Score markdown #3.

There is no closing paragraph. The writer will lose more points. There are severe deductions that will adversely affect the score.
Quang Bao 2 / 2  
Oct 30, 2021   #3
I think " I will look at the reasoning of both camps before presenting why" is unnecessary and I suggest you should only state directly your view on the task.

Your last sentence of the third paragraph is still incomplete and you could be given penalties for this, so be sure to write a full sentence.


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