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People are unaware of their original culture and it can damage a number of identities in the world


fadlanmuzakki 15 / 49 36  
Feb 6, 2015   #1
Question = as mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are become and more alike leading to phenomenon known as globalization. some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Answer :

International relations among countries are becoming much better at the moment. Such a case leads to easy of communication and transportation around the world and thus to generate globalization. For this reason, some people argue that this phenomenon can give tremendous positive effects on cultural diversity inasmuch as people can be more aware with their own passport culture. Nevertheless, the phenomenon is alarming cultural activists. They argue that internationalization effects are similar to centralization effects which lead people to leave conventional perspective. While the possibility of benefits can be occurred by globalization, I would support the argument of the cultural activists as there have been some cases which have proved the statement.

People awareness in culture will be increased by globalization. This is because they will preserve their local cultures as long as they know other cultures. This situation is supported by multicultural theory which is found by Thomas Openheimer. The theory explains that cultural identity will still exist in the world when people know other cultural identities from other parts of the world. Then, Openheimer argues that there is a very real possibility that easy communication in the world will produce new cultures by mixing the cultural identities. Based on the theory, cultural identity would not be extinction when globalization occurs. However, many cultural activists have been taking up against the ideology by showing the evidence which has been appealed in several parts throughout the world.

Apparently, internationalization has decreased a great deal of cultural identities. The several cases have been proving the statement. Firstly, people in India feel that they lose their cultural identities because of globalization. So as to follow modern life style, Indian people tend to wear clothes which are globally popular in the particular seasons. As a result, Indian citizens start to leave their traditional costumes. Secondly, young people in Indonesia are more likely to change their musical instruments to be electric guitars, drums, or compact disc jockey. They start to leave their traditional musical instruments such as Angklung, Kecapi, Tifa, and Tanjidor. Consequently, youth generations in Indonesia do not know how to use their original musical instruments.

The aforementioned evidence shows that globalization may give positive impacts on societies whereas the phenomenon is completely dangerous in other aspects because cultural identities can be disappeared by the phenomenon. Where possible, people are unaware of their original culture and it can damage a number of cultural identities in the world.

vidhyamouli 3 / 5  
Feb 6, 2015   #2
Hi,

I think the examples used and choice of words are very good. However, I felt that the article was bit confusing as I had to read it twice before understanding your which side are you supporting.

Over all well written and well organized.
replikatika 4 / 5 1  
Feb 7, 2015   #3
Hello fadlanmuzzaki,

International relations among countries are becoming much better at the moment. Such a case leads to easy of communication and transportation around the world and thus to generate globalization.

It is a good idea to check with Longman dictionary abou the use of 'thus' here. Thank you.
OP fadlanmuzakki 15 / 49 36  
Feb 7, 2015   #4
dear replikatika,
I have checked the long man dictionary and cambridge dictionary more than twice to know how to use it. I also re-check in several journal which use "thus" in the sentence?

as a matter of fact, I am confused with your suggestion is there something wrong with my sentence? could you give uncommon suggestion to replace the expression in my writing?

there are several comments which only find my mistakes while they do not give further explanations about their comments. Therefore, I hope your explanation can help me to improve my writing.

Thank you ;)


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