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The picture reveals the steps of processing of chocolate using cacao beans. IELTS-W-1


SYDA 11 / 21 2  
Nov 22, 2016   #1
The picture reveals the steps of processing of chocolate using cacao beans.

Overall, it is clear that there are several stages of chocolate production, beginning with the collection of ripe red pods from cacao trees. The next step shows some preparation for seeds packaging before sending to the factory. The process ends with liquid chocolate production.

The process starts with collecting with ripe red pods from the cocoa trees, which are grown in America, Africa, and Indonesia. Cacao beans then are harvested from each pod which contains several beans. They are fermented and also dried by sun heat. After that those are packaged in a number of sacks and transported to the factory by the train or lorry.

After reaching the factory, there is roaster for roasting the beans under 350 degrees centigrade. In the next stage, beans are crushed in machine, which have three blades for removing outer shell. The final stage of this process is the pressing inner parts of the beans in order to get liquid. Thus, liquid chocolate are produced steps-by-steps.




justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Nov 22, 2016   #2
Hi Syeda, below are my thoughts on your analysis.

- The picturediagram (- is the right word when it comes to writing an analysis ) reveals the steps of processing of chocolate usingwith the use of cacao beans.

- beginningit begins with the collection of
- red ripe red pods from cacao trees.
- The next step shows somethe preparation
- forof seeds for packaging
- before sending it to the factory.
- The process ends with the production of liquid chocolate production .

There you have it Syeda, as you can see, there's still quiet a few enhancements to be done in your essay and this is focused on the input of your words in your sentences, meaning, you have to be careful in constructing your sentences.
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Nov 22, 2016   #3
Syeda, congratulations on writing up a very accurate and understandable illustration summary. Your opening statement was pretty clear and gave the reader a logical representation of the discussion that is to follow. One thing though, in the second paragraph you used the same wording to explain the first step in the process as the sentence in the opening statement, In order to show a larger lexical resource, try to paraphrase or present in an original sentence the content of your essay, even when you have already previously presented the information. You want to score as highly as possible in terms of vocabulary and word usage in order to increase your final score. Your overall work in this essay summary shows your growth as a writer and a higher degree of analysis and grasp of the English language in relation to your written work. Excellent work. Keep it up !
OP SYDA 11 / 21 2  
Nov 25, 2016   #4
Holt ........thank you very much. your each word is inspiring.again thank you from my bottom of my heart.

I am happy reading your feedback of my writing. I wish I could improve my task 2 writing.do you have any suggestion for me? :)


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