Short piece of writing on 'The Negative Impacts of Winter Season'

Every season has its pros and cons. So does winter. And this write-up will focus on the negative impacts of the winter season.

First of all, during this time, temperatures are relatively low and the weather is cold. This means there is every risk of chilling and catching a bad cold or a deadly fever.

Also, the season is quite dry which is why our skin tends to become dry and brittle. In winter, we wear warm clothes covering much of our body. We, therefore, are less exposed to sunlight. This causes our skin to turn colourless and moistureless.

At daybreak, often thick fog or mist forms. For this, car drivers cannot view their surroundings properly and accidents take place not infrequently. A criminal is free to roam around and can easily commit crimes without anybody seeing it. In conclusion, the rates of street accidents and crimes rise during winter season.

A point worth mentioning is that we tend to feel lethargic during winter. Nobody actually wants to get out of the blanket and wake up early in the morning at winter. It is only circumstances that bounds most of us to do so. Our sense of responsibility forces us to combat the lethargy and work. Furthermore, water turns icy-cold and becomes difficult to use. We need to warm the water and then use it. This takes time and effort. Due to this inconvenience, our daily lives get hampered even though slightly.

In a nutshell, winter has many negative sides to consider. However, it's a general truth that good and bad go along. Everything consists of both good and bad in different ratios. One is incomplete without the other. The more easily we will learn to accept this fact, the easier and better our life will become.

Here is my correction to you:

Avoid to use chilling, this is not an academic word.
You are repetitive in one sentence you used the word "dry" two times.
Also,in your conclusion "" good and bad".
Very hard to say you were clear. I lost you many times.and it was hard for me to follow.
What i can tell you is to keep practicing, you have a good vocabulary but you need to practice more and more.

Soha, in order to improve your essay, you first need to learn how to outline your discussion. List down the following information in a separate sheet:

1. Your topic title
2. The reason you want to write about this topic (also known as a thesis statement)
3. topics for discussion
4. Supporting reasons and other relevant data
5. Concluding statement

Basically, you need to sort out what it is that you want to discuss in the essay in order to give it a tighter focus, create a more coherent discussion, and also prevent the fragmented sentences in your presentation. That can be done by first outlining your discussion and then working on the actual presentation after.

This not actually an essay, but a little composition I wrote in my spare time. I know that it isn't very good as I did not write it properly. Just collecting my thoughts into a formal piece of writing. I'm thinking of showing this to my English teacher. This is why I posted it here so that it can be proofread. Due to time constraints, it is almost impossible for me to do so myself.

Soha, whether it is a formal essay or not is not important. The main thing to consider is that essays are written to inform the reader. Therefore, regardless of the writing style, be it formal, casual, or just something you wrote to while the time away, it still has to follow the format for an essay. If you wish to improve your English proficiency, specially in writing, then you need to familiarize yourself with the proper way to develop, draft, and eventually, write an essay. Even if it is just an opinion paper that you are developing, the writing and written work development regulations do not change. All of the expected parts of an essay need to represented and every topic sentence fully developed. This essay has the potential to become a very informative and lighthearted piece of reading. It is too bad that you don't have the time to fully develop it. Your writing skills show that with the right motivation and guidance, you have the potential to improve your English written skills.

Holt, thanks for the reply! I'm gonna work on it pretty soon after my exams end.
About myself: Aged 12. A 7th grader. From Bangladesh. A non-native English speaker.