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PLAYING ONLINE GAMES; some people believe it helps to educate children, others argue with it

dynaranjani 27 / 24 18  
Feb 3, 2016   #1
Some people regard online video games as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the young people who play them. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer and give your own opinion.

young gamers at risk

More children are getting used to play online games. Inevitably, this results in prolonged debate. While some people believe it helps to educate children, others argue that video games will only bring a drawback for its users. However, I claim that it does have a negative impact on children and more attention should be paid on restricting children for playing such games.

Online video games seem be able to educate children, particularly in term of language acquisition. Mostly, online game producers are headquartered in foreign countries. This results in the choice of language used. Texas Hold 'Em online game, for instance, is invented by group of researchers mostly from University of Alberta, Canada. It uses English as the language of playing. This will benefit children who play it regularly since they tend to learn English at the same time they are enjoying the game. Moreover, this game offers its users with a communication feature which enables them an opportunity to explore English language further. Personally, I stand on this idea but parents should accompany their children when playing some online games as sometimes, they cannot filter which word is more appropriate to use in real life.

Uncontrollable playing online games is more likely to increase a risk of suffering some vision problems, such as: nearsightedness (myopia) or hypermetropia. It is generally believed that computers or smartphones emit electromagnetic radiation through its screen. Sadly, such radiation can impair the performance of children's eyes. Now that computers and smartphones are generally commercialized, many children have started to use it for certain purposes, especially playing online games. This leads them to have some eyes problems. In comparison with children's condition in the past, modern-day children are mostly using glasses. I do agree with this notion and therefore, some measurements should be taken into consideration, perhaps, fixing a schedule when and where children can play online games.

In conclusion, although online games offer a chance for children to acquire foreign language, young people can also be contaminated by inappropriate word used when they talk to foreigners. Besides, young gamers are believed to have a higher risk of vision problems compared to their non-gamer peers. For this reason, parents should minimalize the time children spent for playing games.
Crystal812 23 / 55 11  
Feb 3, 2016   #2
Your grammer is almost perfect, however there are still some details you need to mind:

(1) ... results in a prolonged debate

(2) video games will only bring a drawback for its users games----their game-----its

(3) ... be paid on restricting ... pay attention to

(4) ... online games as sometimes,

(5) ... spent on playing games.
pikul 23 / 26 3  
Feb 3, 2016   #3
actually your essay almost perfect in my view since there is just a bit grammatical error.
here we go!!!

Online video games seem TO be able to ...

This will GIVE benefit children ...

they tend to learn English UNCONSCIOUSLY at the same time WHEN they are enjoying the game

... when playing some online games as sometimes

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