Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Popular having a year off finishing school and going to uni. Advantages and disadvantages.

dewyleah 1 / 1  
Jun 30, 2018   #1

Gap year from study is becoming more popular

The tendency to take a gap year on the part of high school students has been increasingly gaining in popularity. While some people believe the year off between finishing school and going to university is advantageous to college- bound students, others do not. This essay will elaborate on both positive and negative side of this trend.

On the positive side, taking a year off makes transition to college study easier for the reason that it offers a wealth of advantages. The primary benefit students obtain is to recharge the academic battery. Students have undergone a 12-year exhaustive formal education,completed their college application and gone through a rigorous admission process. Before college- bound students embark on major and pursue a degree program, it may be time for a break that gives opportunity to refresh themselves. If they are committed to going to college afterward, it may be more focused and capable of earning better grades when they do return thanks to great relaxation. Another benefit is the chance of strengthening college application for students defering enrollments. Some kind of extraordinary things done during the year off, such as volunteer for a worthy cause, business start-up or conduct an independent research project, considerably improve soft skills and pre-university experiences, which really appeals to the Admission Officers. For instance, what some of which looking for is a strong commitment to community service by taking an active role in projects impacting school and community. Therefore, a volunteer abroad experience, built on a foundation that demonstrates community-minded ethics, is likely to have a greater impact.

On the negative side, taking a year off before attending college also represents some notable drawbacks. To begin with, difficulty in starting back up once students stop is one the biggest barrier for students not to take a gap year. Distancing from academics and avoiding academic- related during the break could make it impossible to get back into schedule and regain student's momentum, adversely affecting to the quality of later application. One another problem is that gap years can be costly. Taking a year off can be an expensive endeavor that will ultimately add to student's debt. It is crucial if people are planning on going this route due to its expensive cost- it is not for everyone.

In conclusion, the disadvantages of taking a gap year are overshadowed by the benefits accuring from a wealth of expreriences during the year off. However, it is required to choose plans fitting in goals the most and broaden the knowledge to make sure the gap year be a useful hiatus leading to admission in a great college.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,830 4781  
Jul 1, 2018   #2
Thao, good work on the opening paraphrase. It was clear and depicted the instructions for the discussion in a manner that did not create stress for the reader even though the grammar was not perfect. It is too bad that you were not able to maintain the quality of the opening paraphrase in the body of paragraphs. Mistakes in grammar and presentation were all of these paragraphs.

The first problem is that your paragraphs are way too long. It is always 3-5 sentences in 3 body paragraphs. That means, you get to discuss only one topic per paragraph otherwise you end up with overly long, little explained and hard (for the reader) to remember information. All of which confuse the reader in the end and cause undue stress when they have to constantly review the paragraph before they can make sense of what you are saying. The first paragraph should have been split into 2 paragraphs since you clearly discussed 2 independent topics in that single paragraph. Do the separation for clarity sake. Your C&C score depends on it.

Now, since this is a discussion essay and not an opinion essay, you should never let the reader know that you are leaning more towards one side of the discussion. Be neutral at all times. Specially in the concluding paragraph. Do not take sides. Instead, just summarize the previous discussion points with a new paraphrase of the prompt to end the discussion.

This is definitely not a bad attempt at writing a task 2 essay. The modifications I am suggesting, when applied to your next practice test should result in a better presentation and score result for you. That is why I am looking forward to reading your next practice essay.
OP dewyleah 1 / 1  
Jul 3, 2018   #3
@Holt your feedback helped me a lot. However Im uncertain about sth. Here some details:
1) Whether only 3-5 sentences should be contained in each body paragraph?
2) Show me where my little explanation and give me some advice on improving the situation.
3)What does C&C mean?
4) I saw a lot of band-9 essays ending up with their opinions. Is it required to be neutral?
Thanks for being willing to helping me :>

Home / Writing Feedback / Popular having a year off finishing school and going to uni. Advantages and disadvantages.
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳