Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Essay about the poverty in developing countries


granda59363 1 / -  
Nov 20, 2019   #1

Even though developing countries receive financial help, poverty is still an issue.


Some say they should be receiving other kind of help, to eliminate poverty. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give examples and suggest what other form of help can be offered.


Over the past few decades, United Nation has been delivering thousands of financial help to the Third World countries, though poverty still exist among them. Some suggest that they should be given another form of aid instead of only monetary support. In my opinion, I absolutely agree with this notion and there are two primary reasons for this.

In the first place, although there is tremendous amount of monetary outlays given to the unprivileged people, they are still in financial burden as a result of the serious corruption in the Third World governments. Those governments constantly take away almost half of the financial support as a part of their administrative cost and the cut that the poor received is incredibly tiny. It is therefore, the United Nation should hold a local organization and distribute the monetary support through that organization in order to avoid the local greedy people take away what suppose to be given to the lower classes.

Secondly, poverty is always caused by low education level and the children of the poor parents are barely able to change their lives. Even in an advanced cities like Hong Kong, the average salaries for the children with illiterate parents are relatively lower than the children born in high educated families according to a social research. In other words, poverty will pass to the next generations if they cannot receive a proper education such that they no longer need to work with low paid. In Hong Kong, there are numerous voluntary teaching giving to the Third World children which I believe is one of the possible solution to revolutionize the situation.

In conclusion, I believe that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no solution is likely in the short term. However, I believe that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.

jungsooyeon 2 / 5 4  
Nov 20, 2019   #2
@granda59363
hello. i have some feedback for you. i hope it's useful for you
'poverty still exist among them' you make a grammar mistake. 'exits' need to have 's' at the end of word=> 'exits' because 'poverty' is a singular noun.

'It is therefore' you should only use 'therefore/thus,ect..'


Home / Writing Feedback / Essay about the poverty in developing countries