Please note the suggestions and recommendations that I will have marked in red, blue, and green for you :-)
While the developed countries are getting richer, almost governments in developing countries are struggling with the increasing poverty and unemployment circumstances in their countries. For this reason, it is believed that the gap between rich and poor nations is becoming wider than it has ever been before. I think that differences in education and technology are main causes that lead to this.
- Your introduction is good. However, it is too straight forward. You should have introduced the topic in an informative manner first.- Our world economies have been gripped in the throes of bankruptcy for over 10 years now. The European Union almost collapsed under the weight of their own economic troubles. The United States slid into 3 recessions before stabilizing. 2 continents that used to be economic power houses were almost bought to their knees by economic problems in their nations. With that said, it still puzzles me to realize that the leading world economies are still just that and the 3rd world countries, still struggle to survive economically. Why can't the 3rd world countries compete? What is keeping them behind the pack? In my point of view, the inequality between rich and poor nations have become wider than ever before and something must be done if we are to reduce this economic gap for the betterment of world relations.Obviously, most children in developed countries can go to schools, but some areas in poorer countries, children cannot afford to do that. Even though many poor children have to work in the factories to contribute to their family incomes. As a result, lack of education in young generation is making the developing nations become poorer and poorer. In addition, lack of technology also contributes to reduce growth of economy in the developing nations. For example, while the richer nations apply modern machines into their agriculture fields, the poorer nations are still using primitive equipment for their cultivation and harvest of crops.
- 3rd world countries have always been so poor that most of their citizens remain little to uneducated. Very few of them can afford to go to college and higher levels of study due to economic incapacity. Most of their younger population start to work as street vendors or in factories and sweat houses at an early age. They learn how to identify money values and make change even before they learn how to read or write. The overwhelming need for income defeats the desire of any parent to sent the child to school. Why send a child to work if he can already help support the family?- From this point you can make suggestions such as better government or international NGO support for free education in the third world. Something along the lines of teaching the children a trade that will help them improve in life while they complete a basic education, or something else. You can work that information into your paragraph about the need to further educate the children and young adults in the 3rd world. That combination is sure to work for the betterment of your paper.In conclusion, I believe that with supports and assistances in education and technology from the developed countries, the poorer countries can improve their economies and reduce the gap with the wealthy countries.
- Conclude instead with a statement that suggest that because lack of education is what is dividing the economies of the world, the first world countries should band together to help the 3rd world develop their educational programs which will hopefully help to lessen the inequality between the rich and poor countries in your point of view. Don't forget the format of the conclusion, restate the thesis, summarize, and conclude :-)
