Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS2- problem/solution essay: Not enough students choose science subjects in universities

s410377088 11 / 22 4  
Aug 9, 2019   #1

the popularity of science at schools

Not enough students choose science subjects in universities in many countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?

In many nations, few students select subjects of science as their major in college. The main reasons are likely to be lack of interest or stereotype of a narrow career path, causing the companies hard to find employees with science-related skills.

Since science subject requires heavy calculations, the lack of related training before college make students often fail on such science-related subjects as math and physics, discouraging their confidence in such subjects. Therefore, a lack of confidence is easy to lead to lack of interest, causing them to choose other subjects that include fewer calculations. Also, the career path of science is often connected to research jobs, which spent a lot of time working and was paid less. Unlike other industries like businesses, science will not be the first choice for high school graduates.

However, many companies require people with strong analytical skills to conduct quantitative projects like how many new facilities need to be built or the forecast for next year earnings. Lacking this kind of professions make the enterprises hard to come up with plans, causing them the risk of failure. According to recent studies, it is told that quantitative analysis can help companies to have a more accurate forecast of the future, leading 50% less risk of going bankrupt.

In conclusion, I think that schools should increase more practice of calculations and correct the misunderstanding of the science career path so that companies may have a brighter future.
Winter 6 / 12 4  
Aug 10, 2019   #2
In the introduction, you say that the effects is lack of employees but in the third paragraph, you say that not choosing science subjects can lead to lack of necessary skills in the future which is confusing

Therefore you should make the effects more clearer
In the last sentence of the second paragraph, I think you should emphasize unlike the jobs like economics are well paid to make the pay less of science jobs more stronger
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Aug 10, 2019   #3
Hi there. Welcome back to the forum. I hope you find the feedback you see here to be beneficial for your writing endeavors. I'll go on top of what the prior comment has already mentioned to ensure the delivery of a more precise and meaningful feedback.

Overall, while your writing is decent, I would recommend trying to simplify your paragraphs a bit more. When you focus too much on hefty texts, the readers may not be able to digest with ease all of the information present because of the lack of clarity in text.

Be cautious of your composition. Remember to be mindful of small details that can affect a large proportion of your writing. For instance, the second to the last sentence of your second paragraph needs a bit of editing due to the inconsistencies in structure.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS2- problem/solution essay: Not enough students choose science subjects in universities
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳