Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Problems Associated with The Use of Mobile Phones



Trias 23 / 27  
May 25, 2015   #1
There are social, medical, and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of the mobile phone?

The utilization of mobile phones by people also carries several problems. It has been taken into account for social, medical and technical issues based by the users. By considering some examples below, I still strongly believe that these problems that these problems do not defeat the benefits in the long run.

For some people, mobile phone use reduces humans' face-to-face social life quality. Imagine if someone hangs out with his friends for an hour, and he spends half hour with his stuck on his smartphone screen instead of having conversations with his peers. People only realize health problem as WHO (World Health Organisation) warned people about radiation produced by mobile phone, which turned out to have the highest level among all other electronics devices. Radiation may cause major health problems, especially cancer. Finally, users sometimes upset when some technical problems such as network errors or screen failure not maintained well by manufacturers.

However, mobile phones technologies are undoubtedly have been facilitating many aspects in our lives. Despite the aforementioned problems, this particular device also helps us, ironically also in the same fields. Mobile social media applications definitely help people to communicate with each other, finding new friends as well reunite them with old friends. Developers also create useful and practical features to help them becoming more aware of their health conditions like heart rate, body mass index and how many steps have they take in a day. Lastly, mobile phone producers are being more consumer-friendly nowadays to maintain their brand image.

All in all, people should bear in mind to not only point out the drawbacks of mobile phones, but also consider how to overcome them. I am convinced that the benefits of mobile phones have higher values than the disadvantages.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
May 26, 2015   #2
A few points;
Para 1:
- Sentence 1; by the people (DELETE).
- Sentence 2; it seems that you have a problem with "it-clause". For this sentence, I suggest merging it with the first one. "... since social, medical and technical issues have been taken into account."

- Sentence 3; By considering some examples below (DELETE)

Para 2:
- Sentence 1; bad flow. Here is my sample: Face-to-face interactions amongst people are being squashed out by frequently used mobile phones.
- Sentence 2; run-on sentence. To solve this, omit "and"
- Sentence 3; What are you trying to say here??? I miss the point, dear
- Sentence 5; write users are more likely to get upset over minor setbacks, such as...

There are lots of flaws in the following paragraphs. It is always good to revisit and recycle them. Thanks, eddy suaib.


Home / Writing Feedback / Problems Associated with The Use of Mobile Phones
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳