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Problems and Solutions about local museums

tunglinh0907 8 / 18 3  
Jul 16, 2017   #1
Topic: Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people visit these places.

It is an inevitable fact that most museums and local sites are mainly focused by travellers and local residents are supposed to ignore these places. There are a range of reasons contributing to this problem. However, several measures can be taken by governments to address this issue.

This phenomenon is believed to result from two main reasons. Most of local museums and historical sites have become really familiar to residents. Knowledge about these destinations has been taught to local students for many times. Therefore, local residents do not have a desire to visit these places as they think they have a deep insight into national history. For instance, in my country, Vietnam, students have already known about their native history for a long time. National history is a mandatory subject. As a result, local citizens in my area only want to gain experience about world history as well as different cultures. Another reason for which most people do not go to local museums or historical places is due to high-entrance price. Youngsters cannot afford for the cost as well as adults want to pay the same amount for something new or they have not known.

Nevertheless, governments and schools can take steps to mitigate the potential problem. The first solution is authorities should allocate national budget to invest in museums and historical sites. Money can be utilized to develop these destinations such as decorating museums with more artefacts, allowing local people to visit without charging any fee. Secondly, institutions should launch campaigns to educate the locals to understand their native history deeply as well as raise awareness about local history conservation. Another method is schools should focus on teaching national history as important as other subjects.

In conclusion, even though there are many reasons leading to this problem, I believe those in control and schools can certainly takes step to contend with this matter.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,796 2609  
Jul 16, 2017   #2
Tung, there are two points for correction in your essay. In the opening statement, you did not accurately paraphrase the prompt you were provided. There is a big difference between local people not visiting museums and local people ignoring the local museums. When you say "ignore" that means "refuse to take notice of or acknowledge; disregard intentionally." Which is not the case here. the locals know the museum exists. They just don't visit the museum for unknown reasons. To immediately conclude that they are intentionally disregarding the existence of the museum is the wrong assumption. Specially when you read the line of reasoning presented later on. The paraphrased statement and the discussion you present does not fall under the "ignore" aspect. It is incorrect to say that the "local residents are supposed to ignore" the museum. Rather, you should be saying that "local residents do not have a keen interest in visiting the museum." 'supposed to ignore" means that the locals are required to ignore or not visit the museum, which is not a correct assumption. They are not required to ignore the museum nor refrain from visiting it, they just end up not going to the museum for some reason.

It would have been better for your essay if you had not mentioned the high cost of museum entrance fees in the second paragraph if you were not going to offer a solution for it in the third paragraph. Bear in mind that when you are asked to represent solutions to problems, you need to make sure that all the scenarios that you presented in the previous paragraph have proposed solutions in the next paragraph. In this case, subsidies or free entrance days to the museums would have been a logical attraction to entice the locals to visit the museum.

Work on better developing your concluding paragraph. Make sure that you accurately sum up the discussion and that your English skills are better highlighted at the close of the essay. The concluding paragraph is your last chance to impress the reviewer with your ability to read, understand, and write in English. So don't limit yourself to only one sentence. Fully utilize the concluding paragraph for your benefit.
OP tunglinh0907 8 / 18 3  
Jul 16, 2017   #3
thank you so much. Your comment is so valuable to me.
chantieh 3 / 8 1  
Jul 16, 2017   #4
Hi Tunglinh, It seems to me that your conclusion part is not really match up with your introduction and body paragraphs as you mentioned the government's solutions (w/o schools or anything else) in the intro, and then schools appear at the end.

And it'd be better if you using more of complex sentences.
lavonnamark 2 / 2  
Jul 17, 2017   #5
Hi, I really enjoyed reading your post :)

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