The process diagram details the steps by which pineapples are produced for sale
This diagram showed the process that how the pineapples are produced for sale.
The ideal temperature for the growing of the pineapple is between 28 to 30 Celsius degrees. At first, It has a stable size with 26 centimeters high. 7 months later, it is bigger. Then, the farmer uses a special chemical. 5 months later, it is big enough for processing different things. Standard pineapples weigh 2 kilograms and are 30 centimeters tall. The next step is cleaning. They use water to clean it. Depending on the types of produce they want, they have different method to process it.
There are 2 main ways to process the pineapple: for exporting and for food production. If they want to export it, they use wax to cover the outside of the pineapples. Then, they pack them into bales. Finally, they transport them to the ship to carry them to their client. If they want to produce food from pineapple, they remove its stub and peel. If they want to produce pineapple's juice, an exactor help them to convert it into juice. If they want to produce canned pineapple, they chop it into small pieces and can it.
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Even though the grammar you used in the summary presentation is imperfect, the examiner will still realize that you did a very bad plagiarism job. It is still the same as the original presentation, just changed to use bad English grammar, hoping that he will miss the cut and paste job. Believe me, he won't miss it.
Your maturation process explanation is a bit confusing. It is lacking in coherence and cohesiveness which will not be good for your score because you are going to receive deductions for this fault throughout your reporting presentation. Focus on explanation clarity in the task 1 essay. If you do not explain clearly, then you will fail the test.
Hello, I want to provide some feedbacks!
1, First, remember that task 1 ALWAYS REQUIRE AN OVERVIEW. In this essay, you do not mention an overview, which is automatically reduce your chance of getting a basic band like band 6. Moreover, you do not have to mention ALL THE INFORMATION. You only need to mention it in a LOGICAL way! The way you present information is so disorder.
At first, it has a stable size with 26 centimeters high.
7 months later, it is bigger.
For all I have mentioned above, you are likely to receive a band 5 in task response!
2, In cohesion and coherence, you try to organize information, but there is no clear progression, and the relationships between each idea are still unclear! So, you will receive a band 4 for this performance. Moreover, there are a lot of repetitive sentence structures. Like, "X months later", "Then",.. Varying your structure will help you score better.
Then, the farmer uses a special chemical. (to do what?)
5 months later, it is big enough for processing different things. (and what?)
=>Are you listing the process? You need to explain, not list!
3, You use only basic word and sentence structure, there is no linking devices or complex sentences - this is a big no no!
For example: 'At first, it has a stable size with 26 centimeters high. 7 months later, it is bigger.' can be rewrite as: "In the ideal temperature (28 to 30 degree), pineapple can grow significantly from 26 cm to 30 cm in 1 year with the assistance of chemicals after the first 7 months".
Ah, you also use wrong data too. Please read the diagram carefully!
So, for the last two criteria, you will receive (most likely) band 4. And the overall is 4.0 or 4.5!