Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS Task 1; Proportion of Men and Women teachers - UK 2010



beula 3 / 10  
Nov 8, 2013   #1
The bar chart provides information about how much proportion of men and women teachers placed in six various
institutions that dedicated to education in the Uk in 2010.

Overall, it is very clear that significantly higher proportion of females occupied in educational establishments
that teach children and adolescence. whereas, males preferred teaching in adult educational settings like college and university.

Women predominated in schools for children. while less than 10% of men occupied in nursery, preschool and primary school, there
were more than 90% of women as teaching staff in those educational settings. likewise, slightly more women than men, with only 5% difference, were
teaching in secondary schools.

on the other hand, male positioned in higher level of educational establishments. For example, there were almost twice as many men as women
worked in university. However, this pattern was notably different in private institutions where almost similar proportion of both males and females occupied.
it is also very obvious that the gender distribution was equal in college setting, with exactly 50% from each category.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Nov 8, 2013   #2
You should have uploaded the charts together with your response. Then we could have got a better idea as to whether your writing is aligned with what it presents.

The bar chart provides information about how much proportion of men and women teachers placed in six various
institutions that dedicated to education in the Uk in 2010.

The bar chart provides information about the gender proportions of teachers placed in six different educational institutions in the UK in 2010.
This task assess your report writing skills and therefore you need to adopt the style of report writing. Skim the essential details and present them in a more official tone. It seems your structure is pretty good.
raufh05 2 / 5  
Nov 11, 2013   #3
"The bar chart provides information about how much proportion of men and women teachers placed in six various"

How about writing it this way : The bare chart illustrates how many men and women teachers are place in six different institutions in the UK in the year 2010.
OP beula 3 / 10  
Nov 11, 2013   #4
hi raufh,
your way of writing is also correct'
a few suggestions though:
'in the year 2010 ' is perfect but writing 'in 2010' sounds great, I think.
grammar: since the chart in 2010, past tense-- teachers were placed
( were placed is a passive voice)
I am not sure whether we can write 'how many' if the chart gives you in percentage,
usually it is said that many, less can be used if we are given in numbers.
hope somebody, especially dumi ,will answer this.
thanks.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1; Proportion of Men and Women teachers - UK 2010
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳