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Ielts writing task 1 about the proportion of types of magazines sold by the company



lilikim 3 / 5  
Jul 13, 2023   #1

Topic:
The graph below shows the proportion of types of magazines sold by the company in 1975, 1995 and 2015.



My answer:

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of kinds of magazines sold by the company between 1975 and 2015.

Overall, the sports magazine was the best-selling publication of the company as it was the only category portrayed a steady increase. However, fashion and neighbor chocolate magazines were in the opposite situation. Food and others type both showed a palpitation with their peaks recorded in 1995.

The preference for sports magazine saw a yearly growth evidenced by roughly 32% in 1975 to 42% in 2015. Interestingly, sports always triumphed over other types of magazines as shown on the chart, in which annual sale of this kind was approximately 2,5 times higher than the rest.

Regarding fashion genres with a downward trend, from 23% sales at the beginning, it dramatically sank to the lowest point of only 5% becoming the least favorite publication. At the same time, neighbor chocolate only moderately dropped from 26% in the first year to a plateau of 20% from 1995 to 2015.

Referring to rest, they fluctuated over the years with the same pattern. Food and unspecified genres both reached their selling peaks in 1995 with about 23% and 32% respectively. Furthermore, their sales in 1975 and 2015 in each category were equivalent followed by 10% for food and about 21% for other types.

If possible, can you give me an estimated band score for this piece of writing? Thank you so much!


  • giaideieltswritin.jpg


Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Jul 13, 2023   #2
sold by the company between

You jave misunderstood the image. The years indicated are separate. These represent individual year measurements, not continous year measurements. When you say "between", you mean the continous year reference. Review the image, these are year specific references and should be identified as such in your summary.

The summary overview is actually incomplete as it does not identify the type of measurement used for gathering data. That is, you forgot to mention that these measurements are in percentage references.

palpitation

This refers to an irregular heartbeat. Therefore, you are using an incorrect and confusing word reference. Kindly remember that you are being scored on your LR abilities in relation to your Grammar Range and Accuracy expertise. These types of errors will result in a lower score in both instances.


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