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WRITING TASK 1: The proportions of female and male drivers in Asian country passing their road test



nguyenlinh235 1 / -  
Apr 1, 2023   #1

PERCENTAGE OF WOMEN AND MEN WHO PASSED THEIR DRIVING TEST IN ONE ASIAN COUNTRY



The bar charts provide information about the proportions of female and male drivers in an Asia country passing their road test over a period of 30 years.

Overall, there was a significant increase in the share of people who got through their driving examination in both sexes. In addition, women consistently had the highest figure throughout the period.

Looking at the chart in more detail, the rate of women who cleared the driving test started at just under 50%, after which it experienced a slight rise to just over 50% in 1990. A similar change was seen in the figure for men, which increased from about 30% in 1980 to just under 40% in 1990.

From 2000 to 2010, the percentage of female candidates who took the driving test in this Asian country decreased slightly from its peak of just shy of 70% to approximately 65%. In contrast, the figure for men peaked at roughly 50% and then levelled off at the end of the period.


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15342  
Apr 3, 2023   #2
Since the bar charts were divided into genders, the same differentiation should have also been used in the summary overview. It should have indicated that 2 sets of bar charts were used to represent the 2 main genders, not just that there were "bar charts" presented. Although correct in reference to the plural form, the more referenced identifier should have been used to better illustrate the content of the bar charts.

The trending statement should represent the ups and downs, highs and lows, of the image. The trend here is not properly developed as there are no proper comparison points provided. One of the 2 presentations should have been used, with a reference to the proper trending marks in the paragraph.

Academic paragraph writing needs to have at least 3 proper sentence presentations for scoring purposes. These sentences should not be run on sentences with mixed ideas and references in the long sentences. As a writer, your aim is to show that you can provide the necessary mix of English sentences for the required audience use. These sentences are definitely not properly developed in terms of audience presentation and discussion needs.


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