HI Alfa7
you have a good writing but I would like to tell you some things to improve your writing skill
it is much better if your opening is changed to be more attractive to be read, such us the presented table gives information about ......
next, you may avoid some repetitions and replace it by synonym word or collocation. such as, decreasing and increasing that you always repeat. it will be better you use, rise, rocket, bomb, decline, etc
in addition, as far as I concern, writing 1 must consist of 150 words, it mush much better to write at least 170 words to avoid the words that may be did not count by examiner
Best wishes
Hi Alfa, right of the bat mind the words you incorporate in your essay, just like your title, I know it's just a typo error and this is why, proof reading your essay before submission is very helpful.
Having said that, below are my thoughts for the rest of the analysis;
- On this opportunity, theseThe data report - aboutpresents a propositions
- of adolescences whomadolescents who
- In numbers talk weAccording to the data, we can see Community Schools
- InOn other hand, with Community Schools,
- Voluntary-controlled schools has
- had the biggest take,
- In the fact,that Grammar School
- ButHowever, the smallest
- one per cent for almost per five years.
There you have it Alfa, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and for future writing reference, mind the linking verbs, they are crucial in creating a complete sentence.