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Ielts1 - The quantity of pineapple exports in three different countries and the cost of pineapple

thang1305 1 / -  
Feb 18, 2021   #1
help me check this task 1 eassy very much

world pineapple exports

The bar chart shows the quantity of pineapple exports in three different countries in 2009 and 2019 while the pie chart compares declines in the cost of pineapple types in 2019 only.

Overview, the amount of fruit exports is different in each country and the greatest increasing one was of country A, opposing to a steady decrease of B one. Among seven factors, distribution and retail was the biggest one, followed by profit and taxes.

In detail, in 2009, the production of country A was over 1 metric million tonnes (MMT), being one-third of that of country B and much more than that in country C in the same year. In the next decade, country A increased sharply its quantity to over 10 times, being twice as many as it in country B whilst country C just rose slightly, reaching about 0.5 MMT in a similar period.

Turning to the pie chart, the proportions of breakdown reasons were significant. The largest one, 35%, belonged to distribution and retail factor while the second-highest percentage of taxes was only 18%, being a half compared to the first one. The two lowest proportions were of export costs and producer, being 4% and 5% respectively.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Feb 19, 2021   #2
Avoid using long sentences in your presentations that require 2 different sets of information. In the first paragraph, you are to summarize the content of 2 identified images. Separate the information so that it will be easier for your reader to remember that there are 2 sets of information to be presented, based on 2 different information sources. Do not start the trending statement with "Overview", rather, you may indicate references such as overall, significant trend, measured regular increases / decreases, to name a few. There should be 2 clear trending sentences in this presentation. One for each image, or a combined presentation if the result is significant as a singular measurement.

While you wrote more than the required number of words, you will not be scored higher due to the significant problems with your grammar range and accuracy. You have shown two instances of run-on sentence writing, a lack of coherence and cohesiveness in your data presentation, and a failure to properly compare the relationship between the two images.

Home / Writing Feedback / Ielts1 - The quantity of pineapple exports in three different countries and the cost of pineapple
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