The questions of whether people should be paid excessive wages is controversial issue in the world

Hi everyone, I am a newcomer, just finished my work and want to have some comments to improve my writing for the upcoming Ielts exam.

Please leave comments, sincere thanks!

very high wages of some individuals

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The questions of whether people should be paid excessive wages is controversial issue in the world. Some countries held this idea that it has beneficial effect on country where people earn a lot of money, others advocate this approach that salaries must be supervised and restricted by government. However, In my opinion, high salaries can create some financial difficulties for governments benefetis in terms of economy and social issues exceed detrimental sides.

There is thought that if governments are willing to make strong their countries they have to provide opportunity their citizens for job satisfication and to make a lot of money. The power of countries rely on citizens' social and economic status which in turn vary from person to person due to financial conditions of people. When human being could be well-worthy they spent their money entertainmet issues and purchase other goods as well as food stuffs, hence, it bring about to evolve other industrial fields and enhance general living standarts. For example, comparing superior and poor countries, the amount of money people gain is not hindrance to develop economy and being one of the the most affluent countries.

On the other hand, one of the policies what makes nations great is restraining people's salaries that is adopted by some countries. They strive to obstruct citizens to get high wages,as a result of this, people do not squander more money redundant things and governments are not forced to have more obligation. For me, taxing authorities could assert their power to impose high tax on unnecessary things and conduct campaign that people allocate their money in sensible way, rather than intruding their salaries. Greece had to experience crisis in last decade which was arised from people's high salaries but the main reason is not high salaries, is people get more money than they deserved.

To conclude, while citizens who get high wages are one of the main reason behind being strong nation, unconscious payments to people also could lead to being undebted country. Government do not think how they can prevent people from excessive salaries, they have to assume role to avoid problems related-wasting money issues.

Elnur, the way I teach my students to write these essays is to have them avoid writing a comprehensive personal explanation of their opinion at the end of the prompt paraphrase. That is because the prompt paraphrase should never be more than an explanation of your understanding of the following:

1. The topic for the discussion
2. The reason for the discussion
3. The instructions for the discussion

While some teachers will say that you should not indicate a repeat of the instructions in the opening paraphrase because is looks like a "memorized phrase", in actuality, the examiner expects you to render an explanation of the prompt discussion instruction as part of the English comprehension considerations for the test. It only becomes a memorized phrase because students tend to use the same explanation for the instructions discussion instead of using more complex forms of sentence discussions for it. If you cannot explain what you are supposed to write about, how can the examiner be sure that you will be properly responding to the prompt right? It's all part of the task accuracy test.

Also, the instructions for the essay, indicates a 5 paragraph response since the maximum explanatory body of paragraphs requires a maximum 3 paragraph presentations of no less than 3 sentences and no more than 5 sentences. You are not supposed to offer a personal opinion at the end of every paragraph. You are supposed to present a solid analytical personal paragraph presentation towards the end of the essay. That is why this essay type requires the 5 paragraph format.

Your essay suffers from GRA issues. You have several punctuation problems where you use a comma instead of a period which cause confusion when reading the essay. You also have missing subjects in a few presentations that depict actions but not the subject being discussed so the reader is left wondering about what you are trying to say.

Basically, this is a good start for a practice test. There is room for improvement and I do not doubt that I can guide you well into becoming a successful exam taker provided to continue to diligently practice, listen to the advice given, and apply it to your work for continued improvement.