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TOEFL: 'reach the zenith' Some people prefer to work for a large company.

bestonline99 2 / 2  
Mar 11, 2014   #1
The topic of discussion at hand is controversial, that is, some people penchant working in small companies but others don't. Working in small companies have it's positive sides, however it fails to compete with the benefits of working in large companies. Working in prodigious companies have many advantages and in this essay I will present two of them.

First and foremost, more money is gained. Large companies often spread their stocks not only nationally but also to foreign countries. Therefore, large company worker's income is inevitably higher than those of small ones. To take my uncle as an illustration, he currently works in a renowned company called Samsung. His job is to apprise other countries of their company's products. Although it is a dreading job, the money he gains at the end of the month compensates the unimaginable toil. He told me that the former company he worked on, which was a small private one, did not offer this much income he is currently gaining. This shows how big companies are more preferable than small ones.

In addition, one is able to obtain more advanced skills. This is due to the fact that large companies are often awfully competitive. Since there are countless people working on the same compartment, being distinctive is essential. To become conspicuous, one will endeavor with full effort to 'stand out' among others. To take another example of my uncle, as mentioned earlier, he works for Samsung. He often tells me how hard he has to work to be promoted. Working night shifts has become his ordinary lifestyle, however, he says it is mandatory in getting a promotion. He stated that everyday his ability in the field increases and expects to become the best at his work. This phenomenon could not happen in the smooth and less rigid environment of small companies.

In conclusion, I have stated two reasons supporting my standpoint. More money is earned working in stupendous companies and one's skill is bound to reach the zenith sooner or later. Although the jury may be out, as far as I'm concerned, I believe the two rationales above are sufficiently convincing enough to support the majority of people who are also in favor of my claim.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 11, 2014   #2
First and foremost, more money is gained.

This sounds pretty abrupt and incomplete. You should elaborate more on the reason. It is the most important aspect of your body para.
It seems you have a good understanding about the essay structure. Also you display very good writing skills - good grammar, vocabulary, ideas etc :)
Wish you good luck with TOEFL!
OP bestonline99 2 / 2  
Mar 11, 2014   #3
Thanks for the appraise. Could you be more specific? Are you saying both of my reasons are incomplete or just the first reason?

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