The reality of Traffic jams in my city

class assignment - the topic about traffic

My city has traffic jams all days. Why does it take place every day? There are some reasons. Firstly, my city's population is increasing so the vehicles also increase. Many vehicles take part in traffic causes traffic jams. Secondly, nowaday, people sometimes walk or cycle. They mainly go by motorbikes or drive cars... They make the road narrower. Thirdly, people often go to work and go home at the same time. It calls 'the rush hours'. For example, in the morning, workers go to work and at this time teachers and students go to school too. Finally, when a traffic jam occurs, nobody wants to be late or slow. They try to go ahead. It makes the road become a chaos although there is a policeman there. In conclusion, I thinks traffic jams are the ugly points in my city. We must get over it quickly .

HERE is my class assignment. I am in grade 9. PLEASE READ AND GIVE COMments TO ME. Thank you!

There are some spelling mistakes such as nowaday-> nowsaday, thinks-> think, it calls-> it is called
You can paraphase some words such as
1. traffic jam-> traffic congestion
2. city's population-> citizens, residents
3. I think-> In my opinion

In my opinion, i think you should change some word like: all days become all day ( if u want to know the reason, just google it, it is complicated to tell :)

Secondly, u miss a lot of linking words like in the fifth sentence, you should add word like "as a result", " hence" , "thus",..
Thirdly, u should not use "sometimes" in that circumstance, idk but i see it weird, u should use "hardly" or "rarely" which could use the right word and also enhance your score by using academic words i think :)

And finally, i see u using not exactly right word "policeman" because they are the people who have the duty chasing the criminals. In this situation, i think u use " traffic police " is much more better ( and btw i also a vietnamese :) )

Nguyen, since you did not tell us what this writing assignment is all about, it is really hard for me to analyze your essay. Save for the language problems that have already been pointed out to you, I feel like the essay has not developed content wise. You are telling us about the traffic situation in your country but you are not telling us what solutions the government has tried to place to ease the traffic situation. You are not even making suggestions as how you think the problem can be addressed in order to lighten the traffic situation. Of course my thoughts are based on some observations that may or may not be a requirement for your assignment.

At this point, aside from grammar corrections, I don't really see how we can help you improve your essay further. Please remember to include your assignment instructions next time you post your work for review here so that you can get the best help possible from us.