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What is the most reasonable choice: to build impressive buildings or improving schools and hospitals

ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 23, 2016   #1
Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Most citizens think that government should construct some sophisticated buildings. While others say that refining education facilities and health care in more important. However, in my view I believe that city council should provide not only wonderful buildings but also credible schools and hospitals.

Spectacular buildings might be the most attractive city landmark because a great number of people from around the world want to come and see them. For example, every year tourists come to Paris, Italy, Thailand or Indonesia to witness the wonderful architecture in those countries. Therefore, attractive buildings could contribute a numerous income for a city. In addition, constructing sophisticated buildings serve entertainment places for city dwellers because it could make them happy to see while they are commuting from home to office. Also it can be cheaper place to visit when they have free time.

On the other hand, education and health facilities are significantly important for developing quality of life. In many part of the world, developed countries have credible quality of education and health. Undoubtedly, improving quality and quantity of schools and hospitals should provide qualified human resources in order to increase prosperity for the city and the country.

In conclusion, both designing impressive buildings and advance public facilities are essential for cities in order to accommodate diverse dweller's necessaries including entertainment, enjoyment, and health care. Moreover, it helps government to receive more income from tourism.

Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Aug 23, 2016   #2
Hello ekalamarsyari11

Your text will sound much more refined (stylistically) if you apply the following adjustments to it:

Most citizens think [...] Many people believe that the government should invest in erecting large and impressive buildings.
While Others [...] think that it is more important to allocate funds to building schools and hospitals.
However, in my view [...] I personally believe that building schools and hospitals should be prioritized.
Spectacular buildings [...] do serve as the city's landmarks - many people from...
to witness [...] to observe...
Therefore [...] it is indeed thoroughly reasonable to assume that large and impressive buildings do help a city to generate some substantial income.
In addition, constructing [...] such buildings will contribute towards making the affiliated residents more proud of their city.
Also it can be [...] This sentence doesn't make much sense... you should consider removing it.
On the other hand [...] by constructing the educational and health care facilities, the government is able to improve the overall quality of people's life.

In many part of the world, [...] This, in turn, is the necessary precondition for a particular country to be considered developed.
improving quality
improving quality and quantity [...] increasing the number of schools... should prove beneficial.
both: [...] designing some truly impressive buildings and increasing the number of not so impressive but vitally important educational and health care facilities, are equally important.

I hope this helped. Regards.

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