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Reasons and effects of income disparity between celebrities and politicians nowadays (IELTS task 2)



hann130002 1 / -  
Jul 7, 2024   #1
Nowadays, celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

It is an indisputable fact that in today's society, celebrities receive higher income compared to those pursuing a career in politics. This state of affairs is ascribed to a number of reasons and it could negatively take a heavy toll on the social state and public awareness.

Two main factors are to blame for politicians earning less money than celebrities. Chief of these is that politicians are often remunerated with fixed and consistent salaries offered by particular national authorities. This can be seen in developing and impoverished countries like Vietnam and South Sudan, where individuals following a career in politics, usually receive a meager income since the often strained national budget cannot be allocated sufficiently to their payment. Additionally, along with the proliferation of media, many well-known figures have an extensive influence on their fans, making global brands or companies such as Gucci or Samsung willing to invest a staggering amount of money in the endorsement of these celebrities to elevate their profile and identity.

I believe that this vast income gap is a negative development as it can exacerbate the problem of social inequalities and detrimentally affect public conception. As for the former, politicians with a vast reservoir of academic prowess sometimes struggle with living expenses, whereas famous figures can earn many times their salaries, which can instill a sense of resentment in them. Furthermore, this trend might lay the ground for a universal misconception that it is not worth getting high academic backgrounds to pursue an occupation that is paid less than just a famous person. For instance, many school-leavers are more inclined to stop their study with the thinking that further education or academic expertise is no longer essential in this society.

In conclusion, the income disparity between the two careers can be attributed to the shortcomings of governmental remuneration system as well as immersive effects of well-known individuals and its impacts would lie in increased social inequalities and a distorted public worldview.

(I am currently preparing for the IELTS examination so I would be really glad if you can give me a recommended score, grammatical or vocabulary errors and some suggestions for my essay. Thank you very much for reading and for helping me.)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jul 9, 2024   #2
indisputable fact

Do not make boastful claims like these. There are some who would oppose this statement and say that there are politicians that earn more than celebrities. Stick to simple restatements to help keep your paraphrasing on point.

number of reasons

Such as? Complete your summary presentation in response to the question.

Kindly remember not to use run on sentences in your presentation. Each response should be contained in a stand alone sentence that discusses only the question you are responding to.

Additionally,

You are not adding information here but making a comparison. Therefore, you cannot use the word "additionally". You may instead use the phrase "In comparison."

a sense of resentment in them

This is not related to the discussion. Why did you say this? You will receive point deductions for straying from the discussion content.

The concluding summary will also receive deductions because it does not show 2 sentences in the presentation, which is a requirement aside from the 40 word sentence number


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