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There are some reasons why the happiness is hard to be explained


IvanMS027 43 / 56 9  
Nov 8, 2016   #1
Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?


Happiness is one of the essential factors in life. Some people want to just happy in their entire life. However, there is an opinion that it is quite difficult to define the happiness. There are some reasons why the happiness is hard to be explained. Some factors will influence the way to grab the living satisfaction.

It is so difficult to be explained because there is no standard level of happiness. Some people might think that leisure, for instance, is the key to happiness while others say that wealthy level is more important. This is because every people are different in the way that they define the satisfaction. Also, feeling is one of the keys that will lead someone to the happiness. If you do not have the great feeling on the thing that you say that it would make you happy, you will not get the happiness. For example, you love watching TV and you believe that this will give you an enjoyment. But if you have a un-mood feeling, you will not find the happiness on watching TV.

Even though it is difficult to give a definition of happiness, some factors are important in order to achieve happiness. The most important are your environment. You will get an enjoyment if you stay at the place where you have a positive surrounding. People you want to share your happiness is important as well. Psychologically, it will make you happier than before.

All in all, for the points that I mentioned before, it is clear that happiness is hard to be explained. However, other factors can also accelerate the way to get the happiness such as our surrounding and the object that we can share our happiness with others.

(289 Words)

Any corrections and suggestions will be appreciated.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4799  
Nov 8, 2016   #2
Ivan, as an examiner, I would give this a passing score of 5. Based on some specific factors. There are some inconsistencies in the way that you present your evidence which lead to either incomplete thought development or an inability to produce a coherent sentence. While your line of reasoning is sound, there is a problem with the words that you have chosen to use which tend to lessen the understanding of a sentence. For example, when you said "un-mood feeling" I am sure that what you meant to say was either "Not in the mood" or "unhappy". Either term would have better expressed the meaning of your sentence. Instead, the reader will find himself trying to figure out what you mean by the term you used because it doesn't exactly exist in the English language.
nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 10, 2016   #3
Hi Mr Ivan, these are my correction to your essay

1. Some people want to just happy want just to be happy in their entire life.
2. But if you have a un-mood feeling.
[ i think you should find another similar word to replace this word, you can use unhappy feeling for an instance.]
3. You will get an enjoyment if you stay at the place where you have a positive surrounding
4. ...as our surroundingsurroundings ...
[personally, to prevent the misunderstanding meaning, you can also write : the place where you are surrounded by positive people because i think that 'surrounding' is an adjective, if you want to write it as a noun you should write in in plural form 'surroundings' ]

my suggestion is you should emphasize you explanation to make the essay more clear and understandable.
goodluck.
mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 10, 2016   #4
Dear Ivan, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

Some people want to be just happy in ...

... influence the way tofor grabbing the living satisfaction.

It is so difficult to be explained ...

..., is the key toof happiness while others say that the wealthy level ...

... that will lead someone to be the happiness.

... to give a definition ofabout happiness,....

Regards


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