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In recent society, more and more people are trying to live by their own


jommiejr 3 / 8 1  
Apr 16, 2018   #1
Living Independently

IELTS General Training Task 2

Good day, I am taking an IELTS exam this coming May. Could someone read and tell me what do you think about the essay.

Thank you in advance.

Task:

In recent society, more and more people are trying to live by their own. Is this a positive or negative trend? What is your opinion and share your personal experiences.

Response:

Nowadays, there has been an increasing population of people who would want to live independently. In my opinion, this action has its benefits and drawbacks.

One positive effect of living alone is the independence a person attains. It has been prevalent with people in the current generation the urge to live alone. It gives them the sense of freedom to do whatever they would like to do without having any rules from their parents. Furthermore, independent living takes away the worries of dealing with other people because you only have to deal with yourself. Take young professionals for instance, they would prefer to work at a different location away from their home. It makes them more mature and able to handle life's difficulties on their own. Since hardships dealt alone can lead to a stronger character, this way of living could be beneficial.

On the other hand, certain drawbacks could also effect on this way of living. Living alone and trying to separate with the family could actually weaken family ties. With this, more time is spent with friends which could sometimes lead into being influenced negatively. Because there would be no parents to correct the actions, morality could be tarnished. Another downside of living alone is having no one to rely on if problem arises. For example, when someone is having money problems. Because the person wants to prove his independence, he would solve the problem alone and failures could happen. As human beings, it is innate to find company with other people and this could be a problem when living alone.

To sum up, living independently has its pros and cons. It could lead to more freedom and less worries dealing with other people. It could also lead to weak ties with the family and having to deal with problems independently.

Holt [Contributor] - / 6,685 1673  
Apr 17, 2018   #2
Jommie, this essay suffers from too much discussion. The prompt requires you discuss this statement coming from only one point of view. So you either talk about the opinion in a positive or negative light. You cannot discuss both. Given that mistake, your response will be considered only partially correct and you will get a score somewhere between 3 and 4 for the actual essay. Remember, unless you are asked to specifically discuss both points of view in the essay instructions, all essays are to be discussed as single opinion essays only. While you did an acceptable job of discussing the topic, the prompt deviation is what will prevent this essay from receiving a high score. You must also present a uniform set of sentences per paragraph. Remember the golden rule is 3-5 sentence for every paragraph in the 5 paragraph essay. Follow that instruction and you will be sure to get a better scoring consideration for all your essays.
OP jommiejr 3 / 8 1  
Apr 17, 2018   #3
Thank you so much. Was really waiting for your feedback. I would really consider your assessment although it is hard for me to fully elaborate a topic to reach a 250 word count that is why im giving a number of ideas to reach it. I would try to practice your suggestion though.

Thank you so much. It gives me a sigh of relief.

😁


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