IELTS Task 1 : Recruitment English Teacher and French Teacher in Ontario between 2001 and 2007

Topic :

The graph below shows information about the recruitment of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph gives information about how many graduation who choose become a teacher in Ontario from 2001 to 2007. Overall, although English and French language teachers started the same point in 2001, but they had different result in 2007. When French language teachers remained stable, English Language teachers decreased slightly.

According to the data, from 2001 to 2003, people who work at school as a teacher being recruited declined by 40 percent. In other hand, there was a fluctuation for enrollment of French educationers, starting in 70 percent in 2001,it fell by 19 percent and then grew up again to 69 percent.

In 2003, both of French and English teacher enlisting had slowly increased for over three years. Afterwards, both off these recruitment had the same pattern like in 2001 - 2003 that happened in 2005 - 2007. The number of education bachelor who recruited fell by 25 percent, however the number of French teacher went up and down until reached a peak at 74 percent.

• 
  Percentage of first year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation
  

The line graph gives information about how many graduation who ...
The line graph gives information about how many graduation being hired to teach two foreign languages in Ontario from 2001 to 2007 , it slightly difference about people who choose become a teacher and people being hired to teach.

people who work at school as a teacher being recruited ... --> is it for English teacher or French teacher?

Hi Atikah,

The detailed descriptions below are my contributions toward your essay. I hope you can follow through.

1st paragraph:
- The line graph gives the information about how many graduationthe number of graduates who choose become a teacherto be teachers in Ontario from 2001 to 2007.

- Overall, it can be seen that, although English and French language teachers started at the same point in 2001the beginning of the periodbut eventually, they had different result in 2007.ended up with distinctive result in the end of the period.

- Moreover, w hen the number of French language teachers ...

2nd paragraph:
- According to the data, from 2001 to 2003, people who work (...) being recruited were declined by 40 percent from 2001 to 2003 .
- InOn the other hand, (...) enrollment of French educationers teachers (teacher is a shared language, you cannot just simply use other words to represent that word) , starting inat 70 percent in 2001 but it fell by 19 percent, and ...

- In the following year ... (3rd sentence needed)

As you can see, there are still a lot works to be done. Keep practicing to develop your writing skill. Good luck for the next practice :)

Hi Dinartika, let me you a hand, this is my correction

... French and English enlisting teacher had slowly (little) increased for ...
... these recruitment had the same (similiar) pattern like in 2001 - 2003 that happened in 2005 - 2007with the beginning of three years period .
... however the number of French teacher went up and downshowed fluctuationsuntilandreached a peaked at 74 percent.

I hope it is helpful.. Please recheck it again ...
Keep writing :)

Hi
I have some suggestions for you. I hope it will develop your writing skill

decreased slightly ---> fell dramatically, because it was very different with the starting point
In other hand ----> in the other hand, ....
In other hand, there was a fluctuation for enrollment of French educationers, starting ... ----> too complex, you can devide into many sentenses ----> In the other hand, there was a fluctuation in enrollment of french educationers during 7 years.