Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Article Writing Task 1 Refugee Fence and Solar Plant May Wipe Out One of the Rarest Mammals



Yonathan 46 / 50  
Sep 27, 2016   #1
Last week, Hungarian conservationist started to relocate Vojvodina mole rats as part of an effort to relocate them to safety. Vojvodina mole rats are very rare species with around 400 individuals left in the world and inhabit only in Hungary and the province of Vojvodina in Northen Serbia. Hungarian government are planned to build a new solar power plant outside the Kiskunsagi National Park where some of mole rat population live.

Otherwise, Hungarian government erected a fence to deter refugees from entering the country. The fence could physically isolate the mole rat population in half and will speed up its extinction. To overcome this problem, the rangers already build an artificial burrow half a meter below the surface. meanwhile, conservationist are lobbying the government to restrict development of the solar plant on the site of the largest mole-rat population.

Dioba 68 / 97  
Sep 27, 2016   #2
Hi Yonathan,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.
1.started to relocate Vojvodina mole rats as part of an effort to relocate them to safety ---->started to relocated Vojvodina mole rats as part of an effort to moved the to safe place

2. 400 individuals left in the world and inhabit only in Hungary and the province of Vojvodina ...----> 400 individuals left in the world in which inhabit only in the province of Vojvodina, Hungary in Northen Serbia

3.Park where some of mole rat population----->Park where some of mole rats population


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Article Writing Task 1 Refugee Fence and Solar Plant May Wipe Out One of the Rarest Mammals
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳