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Essay regarding government spending which should be more targeted on education or on infrastructure

Axis0019 4 / 7 1  
Aug 3, 2022   #1
Will it obtain a passing score?

Government should spend money on education rather than on infrastructure.

Do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that a country should expend money on academic purposes instead of building massive amenity constructions. I completely agree with the given statement that government should priorities schooling for the development of human beings. In this essay, I will pustulate my opinion with some relevant examples and supporting ideas.

To commence with, studying has made a man perfect in every aspect of life. A person will have a prosperous life if he/she achieves a high level of degree. In addition, people give respect to those who are professionally trained in their selected fields. For instance, Einstein is admired all over the world for his scientific researches and inventions over many billionaires of the globe. Furthermore, education gives a well-known personality and wealthy life to individuals seeking for it.

Moreover, the current available facilities and technologies, that we use in our daily life, are the product of high-level knowledge. It is a proven fact that knowledge is the base of a country's development in every part of governance; as well as, the countries, which standardized their educational system, are known as the powerful nations in the planet earth. To cite an example, Japan had focused mainly on their youngsters' studies before becoming a well-developed nation. Hence, nations are ranked regarding their academic achievements.

To conclude, knowledge is the chief element for the improvement of a country which gives their countrymen the facilities and convenience they need in their life span rather than constructing the infrastructure which will be a temporary welfare.

Word count : 253
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,249 4652  
Aug 4, 2022   #2
The writer has improper knowledge of English words. The use of incorrect vocabulary throughout the essay will result in a low to failing LR score. The following are the improperly used words in the essay with the corresponding meaning that should explain why the score will have to be failing in that section:

amenity - an agreeable way or manner; courtesy; civility:any feature that provides comfort, convenience, or pleasure
pustulate - to cause to form pustules; covered with pustules - a small elevation of the skin containing pus.

These are college level words that were used to the detriment of the LR score. The writer is using English words without knowing the meaning behind them, resulting in confusing and unrelated sentence ideas / formations. This will definitely negatively affect both the LR and GRA scores.

As far as the discussion goes, the writer explains the benefits of spending on education but he does not explain why money should not be spent on infrastructure. The supporting paragraphs should explain why infrastructure spending should be lessened in favor of spending more on education. Stick to the 2 discussion topics provided in the original prompt. Do not alter the discussion focus by creating incorrect personal opinion statements. Use the compare and contrast format for writing this type of essay. Prove why the mejority opinion is not the one that the public should support.
Iloveielts 8 / 16 1  
Aug 8, 2022   #3
The first body paragraph has missed the task achievement point since it is not logical : A person will have a prosperous life if .... In addition, people give respect to those who are ...

Furthermore, education gives ...
==> there is no connection between 2 questions I highlighted as they support 2 main ideas that are different with each other and different from the main idea you give. The same with the last sentence, you need to choose 1 of 3 ideas to analyze clearly and logical to it.

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