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A responsibility of youths, who are aged under of 25, to contribute to communities



ReskiRamadani88 43 / 56  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

Nowadays, Having a job to develop a communities is usually a responsibility of youths who aged under of 25. Some people argue that they should work as a volunteer and others believe that they should get paid. I assume that they must get income when called up for working to do maximal job because they have more responsibility.

Adult youths are the periods which have highest creativity, skills and loyalty. It is important to development of communities, so they are encouraged for doing that. Work voluntarily is usually do them because, they argue that why should get paid to communities, while their organization which teach them about other skills such as leadership, social life and so on. But it can make them do not have more responsibility, so they will work based on their self and when they do not have other activities. This situation does not good to improvement of communities, because they can come or go by themselves, whenever they want.

On the other hand, getting money when working in a organization is good for people to make them more loyal. Without paid they will do anything and just come when they think do not have job. Based on the article in Toronto University, 60% of student have great job to improve their community when get income. They are more discipline than other who do not have paid and it makes their community increase rapidly.

In conclusion, becoming volunteer are good for adult youth but they do not have more loyalty and discipline if compare with people who work with income, because they have biggest responsibility.(268w).

Beauty17 56 / 79  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Hallo reski.. after read your essay, i have some notes for you.

1. You need to practice more to make compound sentence so your sentence will be better. For instance in this case :
... must get income when THEY ARE called up for working. THUS, THEY to do maximal job because ...

2. SUPERLATIVE ->
... periods which have THE highest creativity, ...

Work voluntarily is usually THEY do them because, they (...) get paid to communities, while their organization which teach them about other skills such as leadership, social life and so on. (i confuse with your sentence here. But YET it can make them ...

This situation does not good to improvement of communities improve the communities, ...

Good luck


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