Should rich countries give other types of help to poorer ones instead of giving financial aids?

an effective and permanent help for poorer nations

Topic: Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It can be regularly seen that more developed countries are used to giving out financial aids to assist poorer ones. However, I think that it is inefficient and developed countries should apply other types of help.

On the one hand, money is not a long-term assistance but a temporary and immediate help. Developed countries can not provide money continously and when the poorer ones use up the fund, they will be back to the old situation. For example, if USA open an international institution in a underpriviledged country, the pressure of facilities, teaching quality as well as students' assurance may force the government to stop the institution whenver the foreign funds is gone. Moreover, giving out financial aids may make other countries dependent and they will find it challenging to solve their own problems.

For that reason, I think priviledged countries should try out other types of help with the poorer ones with regard to their obstacles. For example, creating more job opportunities for the poor is a valuable and helpful assistance that appeals to almost all of poor countries. People can have the chance to improve their lives after attending the job center and learning about the jobs suitable for themselves. After graduating, they can choose to stay with the job center to be a tutor or leave and find their own jobs in their hometown. That way of helping will create a long-term and permanent labour resources for the country.

Overall, money is not an effective and permanent help because it do not prove it efficiency in the long run. Therefore, the developed countries should consider other types of help such as engaging the poor in more job opportunities.

(Please help me check this IELTS task 2 essay and give me a band score. Thank you so much!)

I am also a learner so my comment might be not very helpful.
First of all, there are some minor spelling mistakes, such as 'continUously', 'underprivilEGEd' and 'whenEver'
Secondly, you can use 'subsidy' instead of 'financial aid' to reduce the repetition.
If you check the essay again and correct the errors.

@Tang Phuong
Thank you so much Phuong!