Rising gas prices is an impressive and effective way to decrease the traffic and polluted problem

Can you let me know which grade this essay will be? I'm the new one, thanks!

Writing task 2:

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

Nowadays, increasing traffic and pollution is becoming more and more serious that make negative effects on not only our health but also our Earth. Thus, there are many solutions made, one of which is increasing the price of petrol. This is an impressive and effective way to decrease the traffic and polluted problem besides other measures such as encouraging using public transport and to work at home.

Firstly, there have been a lot reasons showing that when the price of petrol is higher traffic and pollution problems are improved. If government decides to increase the petrol's price, citizens absolutely want to avoid using their car or motorbikes. Instead, they will prefer other transportation such as buses, electric motorbikes, etc. As a result, the polluted air is produced less and the traffic is decreased. Moreover, higher petrol's price will make many people hesitated before deciding to go out or not if they only owns a petrol transport, which leads to less traffic jam.

However, besides increasing the petrol's price, there are a lot of different ways to make people less depend on their car or motorbike. First of all, government should think about investing in making the petrol that is good for our environment, which is a way of helping people lead a happier life. Breathing not fresh air, especially in big cities, is a potential risk to citizen's health. What's more, people should be highly recommended to use public transport or work at home instead. The development of technology open a new way for our working style.

As a consequence, whatever it is increasing the price of petrol or encouraging using other transportation, it is much better if everyone can improve their knowledge and also express their concern about the traffic and pollution problems because there is nothing that is much more important than each person's attitude.

Hi there. I'm not a teacher so I unfortunately am not able to grade it. But I hope the advice below helps.

This essay is rich in content. You've written over 300 words with not much irrelevant arguments.

But I think you've made some fundamental grammatical errors, meaning these errors do not exist in complicated sentences, but rather, in simple ones:
Sth doesn't 'make effects' on sth else. ...serious that has negative... will be better.
There is only 'pollution problem' but not 'polluted problem', unless you want to say that a problem is somehow polluted (not literally).
Etc etc

In my opinion, good grammar is slightly more important than good content. But grammar is probably your biggest problem right now. So do try to improve in that area.

It is a very narrow-minded solution. Do you really think increasing price on something a group of politicians or marxists doesn't like is an "impressive solution"? What if the radicals get elected and they don't like Asian people because "there are too many of them on Earth and they are more intelligent than us" - would you approve the idea of limiting children of Asian people to one child? Don't fall for retarded solutions and come up with something better.

Ignore the troll named Rich Monte. His advice is irrelevant. You are not scored on the validity and effectiveness of your proposed solution. Instead, you are scored on the clarity of your explanation and the way that your solution ties the whole essay together. You are scored on the C&C (coherence and cohesiveness) of your paragraph presentation. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now for the real problem of your essay. As you can see, there is a question you failed to respond to. The question was, "To what extend to you agree or disagree?" So your essay does not have a complete presentation. Your prompt restatement is missing an important score valuable sentence. So, why you focused well on your discussion reasons, you failed when it came to the discussion response.

I think you should add an example for each body paragraph. it should be detail and more realistic such as a survey, a story, a real example or personal example,...