The rising rate of juvenile crimes has become an alarming practice for the public; TASK 2 IELTS

Young people who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adults

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To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, the rising rate of juvenile crimes has become an alarming practical for the public. It is argued that the young who break the laws should be punished equitably as adults. From my perspective, I partly agree with this view and this essay will hold the reasons for my view.

On the one hand, juvenile delinquents should receive the same punishments as mature lawbreakers. If youth crimes receive reduced sentence, they may not be aware of the seriousness of their action. In particular, youngsters think that the law cannot severely punish them because they are under 18 years old. Therefore, they can rely on this leniency to re-offend which lead to more severe consequences. Furthermore, if a teenager is tried in court as an adult, others will consider the results which they have to face when they take part in unlawful acts. Thus, this contributes to decline in juvenile offender rate.

On the other hand, I am inclined to think that the young and adults should be convicted in different forms. First, in this period, adolescents' mental capacity is not full developed in structure and functions. They could be impacted by many negative external factors such as Internet, environment and even family resulting in an increase in criminal trends. In addition, they are more likely to suffer from permanent emotional damage if punished in ways that adults are. Thence, this greatly affects their ability to renovate and restore successfully. Instead of being severe sentences, the youth should be placed in appropriate rehabilitation and re-education programs.

To conclude, the youth have to take the punishments for what they did. However, I think the youth should be judged differently from adults.

The prompt restatement has become partially inaccurate due to the inclusion of information that is not mentioned in the original presentation. Rather than presenting an accurate restatement of only 2- 3 sentences, the writer created a partially deviant rephrasing with a missing reasoning statement. The writer failed to establish his discussion grounds to provide the clear extent of his partial opinion in a summarized form as needed for this discussion.This opening paragraph will not receive full marks credit due to these reasons.

Both explanations lack full development. There are no examples provided in each instance to convince the reader to consider the points presented. Each reason could use better cohesive devices to better connect the sentence thoughts and paragraph relationships.

Vocabulary misuse is also evident in the writing. A person cannot be renovated and restored. He can be rehabilitated though. Expect IR deductions due to the lack of proper vocabulary usage leading to GRA deductions caused by a lack of proper sentence structuring. Both of which will also reduce the C + C score as the reference lacks clarity and confuses the reader in relation to thought meaning.

The concluding summary does not fulfill the scoring requirements of the reverse paraphrase either. It does not recap the reasons for the writer's given opinion. An important scoring element in this case it does not contain the menemum 40 word requirement either.

Overall, the writer shows evidence of writing ability and comprehension skills but requires development and correction in the aforementioned areas. This essay is a slight improvement over the first attempt that I reviewed.

Conclusion should include, thesis and main points from both the body paragraphs. it should also include your opinion at the end.