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IELTS Writing Task 2 Scoring: People Living in Debts to Buy Unimportant Things


Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 21, 2015   #1
What are the reasons?

Nowadays, it is easier for people to lend a specific amount of money to purchase products that are not really important. Indeed, they make efforts to buy things even though their own money is insufficient. I strongly believe that people have a specific reason to behave this way, though there are some solutions for this matter.

The utmost motivation which encourages people to purchase things using some borrowed money is definitely pride. In this era, people have the tendency to make buy things with the money they do not really own to impress people whom they are not even close with. For example, a female employee who works in a particular company buys a Gucci bag using her credit card prior to attending her high school reunion. She desperately wants to create an image that she is a successful career woman, especially in front of her rivals during high school period. At the end of day, this behaviour continues every year, so predictably her credit card bill became higher on the following years.

From my point of view, people should manage their financial more properly. This can be done by set priorities in spending their cash, be more selective in buying products (not only by its brand, but also its value) and do shopping at the right time, for example during the sale season. As for using credit cards, they should not jump into a river without observing the rocks and the wild streams in it first. It is best for everyone to know the terms and conditions of a credit card before applying for one.

All in all, it is true people have a reason to purchase things with money they do not own. But I extremely believe that this consumption pattern can be solved by being wiser, as well as manage their financial better.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 21, 2015   #2
- In this era, people have the tendency to make buy things with the money they do not really own to impress people. whom they are not even close with.

- Rephrasing: At the end of day, this behavior continues every year, so predictably her credit card bill became higher on the following years.

Over time, her credit card bill goes up and she's tied up into much higher interest because obviously she's not making enough to support her lifestyle.

- From my point of view, people should manage their financialfinancesmore properly.

- This can be done by setsetting priorities in spending their cash...

- All inOverallall , it is true people have a reasonreasonable options to purchase things with money they do not owndon't have .

- But I extremely believe that this consumption pattern can be solved by being wiser, as well as manage their financialmanaging their finances better.

Trias, you did a good job in writing this essay. I just have a few inputs you might want to consider;

- Proof read your essay before you submit it

- turn on your spell check all the time

- when you have doubts on sentence construction, go back and review the rules of subject and verb agreement

- provide a smooth flow of idea in your essay to ease the readers in going on with what they're reading

Keep Writing.

Cheers!!!
foxyh 5 / 7 1  
May 21, 2015   #3
Nowadays, it is easier for people to lend a specific amount of money to purchase products that are not really important. (What is considered important for one person may be important to someone else. It is relative). that are not important for survival .

The utmost motivation which encourages people to purchase things using some borrowed money is definitely pride.

At the end of day, this behaviour continues every year, so predictably her credit card bill became higher onin the following years.


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