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The seaside resort of Templeton experienced significant change from 1990 to 2005.

Degaak44 1 / -  
Sep 2, 2017   #1
Changes of the seaside resort of Templeton between 1990 and 2005

from an undeveloped place into a modern area

As can be seen from the map, the seaside resort of Templeton experienced significant change from 1990 to 2005.

In 1990, the resort was a quite and undeveloped place with a large number of trees and individual houses, but during the next 15 years the resort was developed dramatically.

Firstly, the biggest change is that all of the invidiual houses in the south-west of the seaside were demolished, with all the trees chopped down and replaced by a supermaket and apartnents. Moreover,a new residental with apartments and the dwellings were built around the lake and supermarket. Only a few trees were remained. Furthermore, all of the trees east of the resort was cleared to made way for an airportand some houses, which sprang up around the school and hospital. The woodland and some houses in the south-east of the seaside was replaced by a factory. In addition, a new stretch of the railway along the shore running from east to west. Another, a ferry was also established to transport vehicles.

Overall, there was a complete transformation of this area, the seaside resort of Templeton-from rural village to a mainly urban landscape.

Please help me edit the essay, I'm not sure about the relative clause, as well as the use of words. Thank you very much

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,413 4391  
Sep 2, 2017   #2
Trong, before you even think about your word formation problems, you must first consider if your essay meets the minimum requirements / representation of the original prompt. Your essay is severely lacking in terms of proper formatting. Your summary overview is incomplete and does not include the trending statement that it should have. The opening statement does not provide an accurate overview of the task presented to you. This paragraph should have read:

The seaside resort of Templeton has experienced significant changes between the years of 1990 and 2005. A comparison map for each year has been supplied for this examination. The map indicates the various changes, per year that occurred in the resort. This essay will summarize the information regarding the changes made and also offer a comparison discussion in parts where it is relevant to do so. The overall trend shows that town evolved more into a residential area from than its previously mixed use area.

Aim to write at least 3 complete paragraphs for the Task 1 essay. That is the minimum requirement. 3 completely developed paragraphs. That means each paragraph needs to have at least 3 sentences in it otherwise, it will not be considered as having met the C&C requirements of the test. Your current second paragraph is too long. You need to learn how to divide the essay into specific paragraphs that will represent the various changes in the map. Since there are 2 years to compare the format should have been:

1st body paragraph - information from 1990
2nd body paragraph - information from 2005
3rd body paragraph - comparison of similar information from the two maps

This would have easily created a more acceptable and higher scoring 4 paragraph essay instead. Remember, the key is to show off your English writing skills based on the available information while following the included instructions. Doing that will ensure that you pass the test. Rush it, the way that you wrote this essay, and your score may be in danger of not reaching a passing score.

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