Hello everyone , so I'm taking an essay class that focus on argumentative essay . I found some difficulty while I'm writing the essay specially on the refutation part . Where should I refute and how?
So kindly please give me your honest feedback , so later on I'll avoid these mistakes .
Should Smoking be Banned?
Nowadays , Smoking is consider as a world wide phenomenon . Also , people refer to smoking as like dying but slowly and smoking steal some years of a person's life , which is really horrible and people should be aware of the consciousness . So , Smoking should be banned , because it will effect the environment badly and it will lead people to serious diseases .
First , Smoking should be banned , because it will harm the environment in a bad way . Air pollution is one of the causes that would definitely effect the environment . After that , it will effect people's life , Among them non-smokers people . It will put them in difficult position . For Example : they will have to wear masks to cover their mouths whenever they pass by a smoker . Another thing , they have to avoid some certain places . Such as , open places like markets and streets . So , Smokers will force people to be indoors instead of going to outdoors places .
Second , Smoking is so dangerous , it might effect people's health that lead them to serious severe diseases . Eventually , they will die if they didn't take the precautions from the beginning . Next , there are different types of diseases that could be resulted from smoking . One of them is could be fast like lung cancer and the other type could be slow that will show up after twenty years or more . For Example , liver will shut down and it won't function normally . Also , it might effect the teeth badly by having a black and yellow stains all over the teeth .
Finally , Smoking should be prohibited , at least some of the places where families gather around like parks and open areas . So , it is a bad habit . People should be aware of the outcome . Also , I advise smokers to quit as soon as possible before it's too late .
I think you have better use more conjunctions and also be careful about ed and s
Smoking is considered as a world wideworldwide
smoking steals some years
Hey there !
Thank you and I really appreciate it . Any idea about the refutation ?
Hi,
These correction are just my opinion :)
Nowadays, smoking is considered as a world wide phenomenon. Also, people refer to smoking as like dying but slowly and smokingit steals some years of a person's life , which is really horrible and peoplethey should be aware of the consciousness (?) . So, smoking should be banned , because it will effectaffect the environment badly and it will lead people to serious diseases.
Firstly , smoking should be banned , because it will harm the environment in a bad way (This sentence is grammatical correct but I think you should use some uncommon words, rather than 'bad ways') . Air pollution is one of the causes that would definitely effectaffect the environment (I think you should explain this before introduce a new idea) . After that , it will effectaffect/influence/impact people's lifelives, Among them non-smokers peopleincluding non-smokers' . It will put them in difficult positions . For Example, they will have to wear masks to cover their mouths whenever they pass by a smoker . Another thingexample is(I don't think 'thing' is an academic word) , they have to avoid some certain places, Such as , open places like markets and streets . So , Smokers will force people to be indoors instead of going to outdoors places .
Secondly , Smoking is so dangerous , it might effectaffect people's health thatand lead them to serious severe diseases . Eventually , they will die if they didn'tdid not take the precautions from the beginning . Next , there are different types of diseases that could be resulted from smoking . One of them is could be fast like lung cancer(lung cancer is not a disease) and the other types could be slow that will show up after twenty years or more . For Example , livers will shut down and it won't function normally . Also , it might effectaffect the teeth badly by having a black and yellow stains all over the teeth .
FinallyIn conclusion, , Smoking should be prohibited , at least some of the places where families gather around like parks and open areas . So , it is a bad habit(Unclear pronoun reference, I think) . People should be aware of the outcomes . Also , I advise smokers to quit as soon as possible before it'sit is too late.
Thank you very much! That was really helpful . About this sentence "should be aware of the consciousness" I meant by consequences . =D
I really appreciate all the effort .
First , Smoking should be banned
Second , Smoking is so dangerous
You should reveal your reasons immediately when it comes to body paragraphs. Therefore, those sentence must be omitted.
Hello there .
Hmmm , from what I've learned the body paragraph should start with a topic sentence .
