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Ielts writing task 2: Social networking sites-------A blessing or a curse?

btho 3 / 4 1  
Apr 25, 2017   #1
Topic: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

The different views on online connections between people

In the 21st century, the advancement of technology has without doubt, connect the world more tightly together. However, to some, social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter are claimed to be detrimental to both the individuals and the society. To me, I instead believe social networking platforms are beneficial to both aspects.

With regard to individuals, social networking sites create a platform for them to socialize. Through creating a fan page, one can easily connect with people of similar interests. They can earn their sense of affiliation by joining certain functions in the group and getting along with others. One can get to learn about socializing with strangers. Also, as information flows rapidly on platforms like Twitter or Facebook, everyone can stand a chance to know more about the thoughts and the ideology of people with opposing stance on certain issues. Hence promoting understanding between people with different ethnicity, races and political stances, then get to bridge the gap and widen their respective circle of acquaintance.

Looking at a bigger picture, community awareness can be enhanced with the use of social networking media. It is not uncommon to see political parties promoting the prime importance of voting and election. Citizens will be much more aware of their civil responsibility in the community. Furthermore, participation in particular protests originating from the social platforms will encourage citizens to contribute more to the community with their friends met in the events with similar goals, who aspire to better the community, in turn raising community awareness.

In conclusion, despite the abuse of social networking sites by some individuals, social networking is a blessing to the individuals and the society as the positive effects of socialization and raising community awareness are far more influential than the negative ones.

Words: 288
syamsiahRahim 9 / 15 3  
Apr 26, 2017   #2
@ btho

I will give you some feedback
I think it more better if you write like this (the advancement of technology has without doubt, to connect the world ...) to make your sentence coherence.

in this sentence you should use cohesive devise to indicate a logical relationship between you ideas
Ex : Through creating a fan page, (...) similar interests thatThey can earn their sense ... Likewise, One can get to learn ...

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