Social and tech - I have a homework to write a paragraph about technology influence on kids

the effects of technology for children

These days modern technology very common in our living social, in anywhere we also can see technologycal eqiupments. With that populary , now there are a lot of childs used it. But if childs were abused technology so much, it could influenced bad with kid's metal health. I have some reasons why it effect not good for them. First, when child used a lot of modern technology such as TV, laptop, ipad and smartphone. This can lead to be myopia and effect bad very much with their healthy,so its can make them more difficult to study and both daily living . Next, playing or watching for a long time it can lower their immune systerm which protect you from getting ill, also it causes metal health problems, especially it affect your energy levels, can make them feel tired grumpy. In conclusion, the childern shouldn't watch, play and use a lot of technology. childs should take part in activities overdoor instead of always use phone.

Hello, I'd like to give you my opinions about your essay.

You have to check your essay carefully. I see you make lots of grammar, spelling, verb tense, and punctuation mistakes. Example:
... is very common in our society.
We can see technological equipment everywhere
...lots of children are using
...effects badly to their health
...
You need an article when using the word "child". Example: If a child spends much time playing video games.
Your essay structure is not organized. I suggest you present your ideas in a more organizing way.