Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Write a paragraph about the changes that information technology brings to our life (140-160 words).


tq123 1 / -  
Nov 23, 2020   #1

the Ways Technology Has Changed Our Lives



Information technology has revolutionized our life. Firstly, communication from a far distance is beneficial with fewer costs through information technology. Information technology enables people to make a call despite a huge gap. For example, my father phones me although he is abroad without paying any fee. Secondly, our entertainment habits has changed due to information technology. People relax by using information technology with a wide range of entertainment such as movies, social media, online games, ... For instance, my brother fancies watching television, playing online games instead of playing traditional games. Finally, information technology modernizes our life. Many manual activities have been digitized. To illustrate, in the past, to print a written paper it had to be typewritten which was a tedious process now it can be done on a computer in a short time. In short, technology has changed the way people communicate, entertain and study because of its benefits.
Crystalyn2006 - / 1 1  
Nov 23, 2020   #2
you need to use words more correctly.For example, modernize our life->improve.../information technology->development of technology...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,888 3555  
Nov 24, 2020   #3
You gave a direct descriptive response to the question but it is flat in presentation. While you did offer personal knowledge and experience in the explanation, it feels like you really rushed things and tried to over inform the reader. I think this happened because of the lack of transition sentence usage. You need to make sure that you always connect one presentation to the next by helping to do a preliminary introduction to the next topic. That helps to create a smoother presentation and a better response presentation as there is a semblance of analysis included in your discussion response. The essay will benefit from the use of transition sentences because it will help create a more coherent and cohesive response paragraph. Once the different ideas are connected with transition sentences, the meaning of your presentation becomes clearer to the reader.


Home / Writing Feedback / Write a paragraph about the changes that information technology brings to our life (140-160 words).