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The societies shouldn't be pliant and ought to select what kind of information they want in media



ainirere /  
Apr 29, 2016   #1
It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

In this globalization era, technology has became more sophisticated. Many people linger on their gadget, thereby they are susceptible to the development of media. However, there are the advantages and disadvantages of media which I will discuss in this essay.

Today's, most of people possess their own gadget for keeping in touch with others. However, with the advance of technology, the gadget function's is not only for communication any more. A host of other functions such as internet browsing, online newspaper and so forth have helped people to accomplish their job. As further instance of this, is by using the media via their gadget, people can advertise their product through website. In addition, people are able to look for any information presented on the internet, so that they have the fascinating insight.

On the other hand, with all of the facilities provided by technology, people today become more anti-social. Moreover, what they read and see in the media become popular in the society, and thus many people are proud to follow the crowd. However, not all of what the media displayed is beneficial. In this case, the media can be a trigger for influencing children and youngsters, hence the role of parents is important to watch their children activities. Moreover, the government had better to sensor what media will display to the public.

In conclusion, there are some benefits and drawbacks of the media in today's society. Indeed, the media has given the easier to people's live, however the societies ought to select what the information displayed in order not to be a pliant person.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Apr 29, 2016   #2
Rere, your flow of ideas is getting better, it is quite clear and understandable. Yet, some cohesive devices are repetitive, and tend to be overused, such as 'Moreover, and However'. I hope you can vary the use of cohesive devices in order to make it less repetitive. Now, for the descriptions of grammatical issues, you can see it below, with corrections applied.

- ...technology has became become more sophisticated. (has/have + V3)
- ...their gadget, which thereby they...
- Today'sThese days, ...
- the gadget function'sfunction of gadget is not only for communication any more, but also ....
- is by using the media...
- so that they have the fascinating insight.can broaden their insights.
- children and youngsters,(period, new sentence)Hence ,...

There you are rere, I hope you can follow through my feedback :) Good luck for the next practice.
OP ainirere /  
May 1, 2016   #3
Hi ichan thank you for your corrections :)


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