Unanswered [16] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


bangbangbt 5 / 9 3  
Jun 26, 2020   #1
Please evaluate and give a band score to my essay. Thank you in advance.

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of species come under threat.
What can be done to maintain biodiversity?


As the disappearance of numerous species has become quite alarming, many people are being aware of the current imbalanced biodiversity. The causes are many: overgrazing, logging, intensive farming and even strip mining. This leads to a serious question: what people should do to maintain a functioning ecosystem as it used to be? This essay will discuss possible solution to this problem.

To begin with, one of the key factors that contributes to the biodiversity is the various of species themselves. By preserving their genetic diversity, people could study their attributes in order to design proper habitats and to protect them from predators or other impacts caused by climate change. In fact, many scientists and governments have implemented such projects namingly captive breeding and introducing endangered species to the wild. Many wildlife animals and plants have been saved from the edge of extinction thanks to this method. However, it requires modern technology, which could be a burden to under-developing and even developing countries.

Another practical approach to this problem is that governments should pay proper attention to protecting wildlife species. Governments should enact policies regulating the exploitation and manufacturing process of companies that are making use of natural resources. In addition, restraining rules on the use of non-renewable should also be enforced so that degradation of natural resources could be preventable. Take the mangrove swamp in some tropical climate regions as an example. If it had not been for the governments' effort in stopping indiscriminate logging, these species could have been seriously damaged, which could lead to a serial consequence relating to both land and forest quantity and quality.

To conclude, possible solutions suggested in this essay are preservation and protection and, above all, the latter seems to be more beneficial.
Elsa 4 / 7 3  
Jun 27, 2020   #2
You have good understanding and able to present relevant solution, but In your introduction paragraph you mentioned several factors, which not all factors were describe in the body paragraph. I think it is better to mention 2 factors and 2 possible solutions related to the factors in your introduction paragraph to help reader simply understand the whole essay. Moreover, to make a better conclusion, u might try to paraphrase your introduction paragraph and as an optional choice, you are able to write any prediction or recommendation in your conclusion.