Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Sophisticated technology and better telecommunication makes people's life more comfortable today



MuhammadImho 17 / 12  
Apr 7, 2015   #1
Life now is better than it was 100 years ago.

Nowadays, life has become better than it was one century ago. While some people argue that the appearance of a state-of-the-art technology and telecommunication lead people to be more convenience, I personally believe that atmosphere become hotter than several years ago due to global warming.

I would argue that sophisticated technology makes people these days to be easier doing their work than it was 100 years ago. For instances, the invention of washing machine is very helpful for housewife to do their household activity. As a result, the machine has changed the housewife role that make them have much leisure time.

Another cause that makes life to be better is how telecommunication such as mobile phone handing out easiness for people to keep in touch with their relatives. Result shows that mobile phone is the most popular for communicating over recent years. In the past, people send their massages by using bird that needs very long time.

However, the negative side of this development is about the increase of pollution that is the main factor in global warming. This is because there is a rise in the number of fossil fuel users that produce a much of gas emission. Result shows that the amount of pollution in 2013 was nine times as much as in 1914 caused of gas emission. All of this point out that this case leads global warming that increases in temperature of atmosphere. It is thus clear that global warming makes people becoming more unpleasant due to the high of temperature that can also to be the cause of disaster such as melting of ice at North Pole.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although advance technology and telecommunication make our life to be better than before, atmosphere is becoming hotter than before. I am having doubt that life now is better than it was in nineteenth centuries.

IqbalThemi 44 / 21  
Apr 7, 2015   #2
Nowadays, life has becomebeen better than it was onein a century ago. WhileAs such, some people argue that the appearance of a state-of-the-art technology and telecommunication lead people to be more convenience, why is it more convenience? what is the reason? I personally believe that atmosphere becomeis now hotter than several years ago due to global warming. why is it hotter? your introduction is not clearly enough.

You should put your concrete ideas and reasons of what you write about paraphrase in introduction. Let me try:

Advance technology nowadays changes people's lives. As such, lots of experts believe that sophisticated devices have improved person's life quality in modern era as with high class gadget, people connect to the internet every time for updating news information. Therefore, I would argue that societies' lives today is preferable than in the past having limited facilities


Home / Writing Feedback / Sophisticated technology and better telecommunication makes people's life more comfortable today
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳