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Sort of problems people have when they move into the other countries, according to ages


ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Oct 25, 2016   #1
The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart gives information about sort of problems people have when they move into the other countries according to ages. Overall, the biggest problem is for finding the best health care in those countries in 35-54 years old people.

35 percent of people aged 35-54 are having problem on looking for finances while those in 18-34 age group finds it easier which is under 35 percent. Moreover, people in over 55 years old show that only under 30 percent of them find the finances as a problem

Sorting of medical care for people in the middle age is the most problematic which is above 36 percent. The older people find the health care is more difficult than the youngest people which is above 35 percent. The youngest people has the lowest percentage than others which is under 35 percent.

Looking school for the children become the most difficulties for the productive ages which is under 20 percent. People who have 18-34 years old sort the school as a problem in 6 percent. In contrast, almost all of the oldest people have difficulties to find the school for children which is above 2 percent.




Holt [Contributor] - / 7,854 2139  
Oct 25, 2016   #2
... about THE sort of problems ...
they move in to the other countries.
THE CHART LISTS THE NUMBERS according to ages.
...problem is for IS RELATED TO finding the best health care ...
... in those countries FOR THE in 35-54 years old people.

... of people aged 35-54 are having HAVE A problem on looking for finances...
while those in THE 18-34 age group finds it easier which is AT under 35 percent.
... in over 55 years old show ...
... 30 percent of them find the finances as a problem

Sorting ACQUIRING of medical care for MIDDLE AGED people in the middle age ...
... which AT is above 36 percent. The older people find the THAT health care is more difficult TO ACQUIRE...
...youngest people which is AT above 35 percent.
...people has HAVE the lowest percentage than others which is AT under 35 percent.

Looking FOR A school for the children become IS the most difficulties for the productive ages which is under 20 ... ... People who have ARE 18-34 years old sort the school as a problem in 6 percent REPRESENT 6 PERCENT OF THIS PROBLEM.

...have difficulties to find the school IN FINDING SCHOOLS for children which is AT above 2 percent.
ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Oct 25, 2016   #3
Overall, the biggest problem is for finding the best health care ...

instead of writing a clear overview, you gave a wrong information, so be careful about it. it does not any information about countries in the graph

also you should consider at least 2 main features in the overview so that you can easily develop it in your body paragraph
=> the problems including finances, healthcare and education services seem to increase when the foreigners are getting older, but the data show a downward trend of problems faced by people aged over 55 years old.

i found that your overview does not match with your body paragraph
=> you just have to develop the ideas that you have mentioned in the overview
Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Oct 25, 2016   #4
Hi Ifra,

Overall, the biggest problem which people faced when they live abroad is for finding the best health care in those countries in 35-54 years old people.

Moreover, elderly people in over 55 years old show that onlyjust under 30 percent ...

... age is the most problematic issue which is above 36 percent.
... percentage than others which isat under 35 percent.

- you explain it well, but it likes 'shopping list'. You explain all the problems one by one. it is better to do grouping so that it will be well organised.

- it is better to make two sentences in the overview.

- in the first paragraph try to compare the biggest number of all problems.
Hopefully it helps.


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