Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Space traveling - any influence on people? (Writing Task 2)



zerozero 1 / 2  
Aug 26, 2021   #1
The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people's lives.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.


When Yuri explored the moon for the first time, he concluded that it would be a wonderful achievement of people. In terms of experimental science, I agree with this statement; however, in terms of a straightforward person, who only loves the beautiful present time, I do not agree that traveling to the space can help people to have a sufficient perceivability.

Space science has become one of the major research directions nowadays. People need to focus on investigating the universe. Therefore, they find several methods for exploring space, from picking ones from the earth to the moon, to using unmanned vehicles that can take photographs. In this viewpoint, I realize that in one coming day, the earth where people are living will be destroyed. Therefore, it is necessary to travel to space for searching a novel plan for people.

In the other hand, I do not agree that people can understand the universe unless they understand themselves first. A human body is a universe too, but smaller. For example, the human cells can be regarded as the stars, which are continuously born and die time by time. Gaining insight the way our body processes, people can realize the way everything process too. Otherwise, people will do without the correct direction. Let consider the men who traveled to the moon and picked some stones from it to the earth. They claimed that they had possessed the moon; however, their perceivability about the moon even is less than the children, in my opinion. When the children observe the moon, they straightforward enjoy its beauty, without comparing, thinking, and researching. The beauty in the children eyes is completely perfect in this case. Otherwise, perhaps someone could travel to the moon and pick something from it comeback. However, the moon in this case is a normal research objective in the viewpoint of scientist.

Inclusion, although I can realize the purpose of scientists when they exploring space, I expect that people would explore themselves before reaching to other things in nature and in universe.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Aug 27, 2021   #2
For accuracy purposes, avoid making mention of any names in relation to the space program. This is to avoid making and wrong references (Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon who made that statement, not Yuri) which could expose the writer's lack of proper historical knowledge. It is not important to mention names, it is important to get restate the topic properly. Any errors in reference could have a (minimal) effect on the score of the essay.

The writer got too caught up in his imagined discussion points that he actually ended up straying off topic, failing to provide the correct response opinion to the provided question. Which will lead to an automatic failing score for this essay. Once an incorrect topic and format is used for the opinion statement and succeeding paragraphs, there is no way the essay can achieve a passing score. The presentation was simple enough, but complicated by the writer who misunderstood or disregarded the discussion instruction.

Question: TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?
Response: I agree with this statement; however, in terms of a straightforward person, who only loves the beautiful present time, I do not agree that traveling to the space can help people to have a sufficient perceivability.

When properly outlined, the reason for the failing score becomes self-explanatory.


Home / Writing Feedback / Space traveling - any influence on people? (Writing Task 2)
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳